ROTTEN TOMATOES: Larushka Ivan-Zadeh

MOVIE REVIEWS ONLY

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1/5	" Mutant Chronicles is as atrocious as its terrible title suggests – but one redemptive aspect to this based-on- a-role-play-game snooze-fest is its ambitious visual flair." -- Metro [UK] Posted Oct 10, 2008	Mutant Chronicles (2008)	18%
3/5	" The ending is predictably feel-good – if it takes way too long coming – but the female-penned script keeps you perky with some surprisingly surreal flashes… such as: 'The eyes are like the nipples of the face.'" -- Metro [UK] Posted Oct 10, 2008	The House Bunny (2008)	39%
2/5	" But High Tension director Alexandre Aja's disappointingly low-tension Hollywood studio remake is a pale reflection of its Korean original." -- Metro [UK] Posted Oct 10, 2008	Mirrors (2008)	13%
4/5	" It's as unsentimental as it is understated and only afterwards do you realise how remarkable it is to find a mafia film that neither over-grits nor over-glams its underworld." -- Metro [UK] Posted Oct 10, 2008	Gomorrah (2009)	100%
1/5	" And though 14-year-old Saoirse Ronan (Oscar-nominated for Atonement) shines as the city's saviour, even she can't light a path through a suspenseless plot seemingly attacked by hungry moths." -- Metro [UK] Posted Oct 10, 2008	City of Ember (2008)	45%
3/5	" Bafflingly, this film leaves you not knowing whether to kill yourself, cry, walk out or laugh." -- Metro [UK] Posted Oct 3, 2008	Import/Export (2007)	78%
	" Don't get excited by the saucy title of this offbeat US indie. What sounds like an X-rated skin flick is in fact an indulgent, emotionally ersatz 'unusual fairytale' of a lonely young woman." -- Metro [UK] Posted Oct 3, 2008	Good Dick (2008)	55%
3/5	" This isn't the truffle box of Brit thesps you'd imagine; instead, the main star is Andrew Davies's nuanced, if awkwardly paced script." -- Metro [UK] Posted Oct 3, 2008	Brideshead Revisited (2008)	64%
3/5	" This comedy is gunning to do for glossy magazines what The Devil Wears Prada did for fashion - and ends up shooting itself in the hand-stitched loafers." -- Metro [UK] Posted Oct 3, 2008	How to Lose Friends & Alienate People (2008)	33%
4/5	" Warm and engaging, this has its cutesy moments and crazy Van Gogh-inspired time-travel fantasy visuals but remains appealingly grounded in relatable, sublimated adolescent fears of growing up." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 19, 2008	The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2008)	87%
3/5	" For all its half-hearted attempts to trip expectation, Hunt's adaptation of Elinor Lipman's novel is ultimately a romcom wherein themes of adoption and betrayal come with too much sensitive, careworn soul-searching." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 19, 2008	Then She Found Me (2008)	52%
3/5	" A game of good, solid passes that emotionally fail to hit the back of the net." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 19, 2008	Linha de passe ()	75%
2/5	" You may think I'm being a spoilsport but I'm doing you a favour by lowering your expectations. Get the beers in first and Tom Cruise jive-dancing to T-Pain's Lo in a hairy fat suit may well be the funniest thing you've seen that evening." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 19, 2008	Tropic Thunder (2008)	83%
1/5	" A ghastly Sex And The City knock-off guaranteed to make its chick-flick audience storm angrily out in search of the next Rambo movie." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 12, 2008	The Women (2008)	10%
3/5	" No sooner did the woeful Step Brothers suggest Judd Apatow's comedy empire was starting to spread itself thinner than a banana skin under an anvil, he strikes back with this almost-classic." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 12, 2008	Pineapple Express (2008)	68%
	" A disturbing, bleak, multilayered mystery that will not just worm under your flesh but also wriggle inside your nightmares." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 12, 2008	Jar City (2008)	94%
4/5	" It's the latest proof that, when it comes to scary movies at least, the British film industry is alive and screaming." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 12, 2008	Eden Lake (2008)	79%
3/5	" The flashback structure adds nothing but length to an already awkward mix of humanist-socialist parable and gently halting love story that's been sat on a shelf since 2005. But even so, it's a surprisingly sweet little treat." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 5, 2008	Sweet Land (2006)	84%
2/5	" Proof that Cage will sign up to anything that involves a mad hair weave and a motorbike." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 5, 2008	Bangkok Dangerous (2008)	10%
2/5	" You'll find yourself less fixated on inner turmoil than whether you could feasibly slip a cocktail sausage between her perma-pouting lips." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 5, 2008	The Duchess (2008)	61%
3/5	" But his gift for wicked smash/grab visuals and larky, on-der-money one-liners just about compensates for all his gratingly puerile posing." -- Metro [UK] Posted Sep 5, 2008	RocknRolla (2008)	55%
4/5	" Light radiates intensely from Reha Erdem's glowing enigma, a spiritual yet earthy meditation on the passing of time that proves quietly fruitful." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 29, 2008	Times and Winds (2008)	85%
1/5	" A good scary movie retells a creaky story in a manner that terrifies you afresh. All this has is Tyler trembling like a wet-lipped goldfish in a performance you could peg out to drip dry. Run away." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 29, 2008	The Strangers (2008)	43%
2/5	" A sci-fi actioner that sees bald hero Vin Diesel back stomping around the future like a small, gun-toting penis." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 29, 2008	Babylon A.D. (2008)	7%
3/5	" The direction is unlikeably murky and unfocused but this is more dope than wack – and a guaranteed four-star movie if you're already stoned yourself." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 29, 2008	The Wackness (2008)	67%
2/5	" Funny as it is watching balding middle-aged men clowning like eight-year-olds – particularly when it involves Ferrell man-crying – it soon starts to grow old when that's all the script has to offer." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 29, 2008	Step Brothers (2008)	55%
4/5	" Funny, raw and gentle, bearing national identity issues with enviable lightness, it's essentially a beautiful piece of black and white observation, buffed from many hours of improv." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 22, 2008	Somers Town (2008)	89%
2/5	" An uninspired comedy that runs the full gamut from characters being punched in the groin/face to being shot in the face/groin, until everything culminates in an expensively pointless action finale." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 22, 2008	Get Smart (2008)	52%
2/5	" It's narrated with ear-tearing pretentiousness by snapper Edo Bertoglio, primarily as an attempt to get over his past – he should have concentrated on getting over himself." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 22, 2008	Face Addict (2008)	30%
1/5	" For horrified parents, Donny Osmond's cameo is – scarily – the sole lifebelt in a truly desperate mess of unamusing plot randomness, which runs from sky-diving to high-IQ pigs." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 22, 2008	College Road Trip (2008)	13%
4/5	" McDormand brings a Chaplinesque pathos to this snappy period comedy. Fabulous frocks, tasty men, female bonding, art deco apartments to die for; it's like Sex And The City set in 1930s London. I could have happily watched it for hours…" -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 15, 2008	Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008)	77%
	" Any magic is instantly dispelled by the dead hand of a tirelessly pouting Zeta-Jones, whose slap boasts more layers than her talent." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 8, 2008	Death Defying Acts (2008)	46%
	" Directed by and starring Stephen Chow of Kung Fu Hustle fame, it's definitely one only for the kiddies - those who are prepared to read subtitles. Should be a smash hit, then." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 8, 2008	CJ7 (2008)	51%
2/5	" Overlong and overcrowded, this tired threequel soon has you yawning. John Hannah's cry: 'Die, you mummy b**s, die!' is the only line to raise a cheer." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 8, 2008	The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)	13%
2/5	" The only truly memorable element is Billy Connolly, who pops up rather desperately as a self-castrated paedophile psychic priest. Enough now." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 1, 2008	The X-Files: I Want to Believe (2008)	32%
4/5	" Deftly balancing honesty, poignancy, sensationalism and humour, it's a palm-sweating story – and the excitable Petit is a born storyteller." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 1, 2008	Man on Wire (2008)	100%
1/5	" You'll wish the once-talented Myers had merely rested on his laurels rather than pooping into them." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 1, 2008	The Love Guru (2008)	14%
	" Focusing on the simple folk normally relegated to the background of the world stage, this warm comedy has a gentle Life Of Brian flavour and its own shrewd sense of enterprise." -- Metro [UK] Posted Aug 1, 2008	The Pope's Toilet (2007)	77%
1/5	" As clunky as it is emotionally unconvincing." -- This is London Posted Aug 3, 2007	Wind Chill (2007)	48%

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