ROTTEN TOMATOES: Cole Smithey

WORST REVIEWED FILMS

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F	"An early contender for the worst movie of 2008, this apocalyptic schlock-fest refuses to admit that it's just another zombie slasher pic." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Feb 15, 2008	The Signal (2007)	55%
F	"...the lowest movie of the last nine years. There's political satire ostensibly buried somewhere in Kelly's muddy cinematic slop, but you'll never be able to stain it out. Blech!" -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Nov 14, 2007	Southland Tales (2007)	34%
F	"Gratuitous, slow-as-molasses and interminably dull-witted; this is a horror movie for no one. Dialogue runs the gambit from "Shitman the Barbarian" to "smelling like shit" in a crappy stinker where even the cameraman blows." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Mar 23, 2007	The Hills Have Eyes II (2007)	12%
F	"The Devil's Rejects is ultimately unredeemable for its wrongheaded attempt at glamorizing a band of cocky and detestable serial killers." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Jul 30, 2005	The Devil's Rejects (2005)	54%
D-	"Uwe Boll is the epitome of a hack director who thinks that putting an Osama impersonator and a George Bush lookalike together in a scene will automatically make some comic impression. It just made me sleepy." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Apr 20, 2008	Postal (2008)	9%
D-	"In a movie with no purpose beyond small-scale grotesque spectacle, I can only imagine its purpose as a cinematic waiting room for the end of the world where the guy in charge isn't capable of counting to ten." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Apr 3, 2007	The Reaping (2007)	8%
D-	"This contemptuously formulated comedy, about four middle-age-crisis-suffering men going on cross country motorcycle road trip, isn't worth the film stock it was shot on." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Mar 5, 2007	Wild Hogs (2007)	15%
D-	""The Number 23" is a movie that doesn't believe in itself." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Feb 21, 2007	The Number 23 (2007)	8%
D	""The Doorman" is a thinly written indie comedy--it's only 79 minutes long--that will have you kicking yourself for wasting whatever time and money you spent to watch it." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Jul 14, 2008	The Doorman (2008)	25%
D	"One-hit-wonder M. Night Shyamalan further galvanizes the nickname given him by his detractors ("Shyamalama-ding-dong") with yet another pretentious movie." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Jun 11, 2008	The Happening (2008)	19%
D	"Think of it as a cinema-of-the-infantile and you'll be better able to stomach the utter boredom that goes along with Korine's prepubescent logic." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Apr 17, 2008	Mister Lonely (2008)	43%
D	"Okay, so Al went slumming and all he got was a paycheck and movie for his fans to ignore. All is forgiven. Just don't do it again Al. Please don't do it again." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Apr 13, 2008	88 Minutes (2008)	6%
D	"The eye-popping visuals soon devolve into a visual white noise, and you're left to ponder why you didn't make a better movie selection." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Feb 13, 2008	Jumper (2008)	16%
D	"Agonizing, flaccid, and about as romantic as bottle of flat champagne 27 Dresses is a perfect example of the stereotypical Hollywood romantic comedies that Judd Apatow's 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up successfully disemboweled." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Jan 11, 2008	27 Dresses (2008)	40%
D	"If the first wide release movie of 2008 is an indicator of the kind of year a writers' strike Hollywood has in store, we may all be watching DVDs." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Jan 5, 2008	One Missed Call (2008)	0%
D	"Francis Coppola's gasping adaptation of Mircea Eliade's out-of-print novella should provide the tipping point at which audiences start avoiding the exasperated genre of magical realism that crept into modern film vernacular with a vengeance." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Nov 24, 2007	Youth Without Youth (2007)	29%
D	"A perfect example of everything wrong about Hollywood films, "August Rush" is an obstinately perverse, hammy piece of instant-gratification cinema that weeps from the screen as so much emotional sludge." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Nov 23, 2007	August Rush (2007)	38%
D	"Amateurish to distraction, this modern-day satire about growing up gay in a small town has such a minimal pulse that you may well wonder if first-time writer/director/actor Ash Parish didn't burn his script before shooting began." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Nov 4, 2007	Fat Girls (2007)	29%
D	"Boring, morose and uneventful, "Wristcutters: A Love Story" is a stinky little picture that mocks the afflicted while giving them a pat on the back." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Oct 20, 2007	Wristcutters: A Love Story (2007)	65%
D	"Besmirching Bruce Lee's name like this should be a punishable offense." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Oct 8, 2007	Finishing the Game (2007)	35%
D	"French actress/writer/director Julie Delpy ("Before Sunset") fails miserably with this Paris-set romantic farce where American girly-man Jack (Adam Goldberg) learns to loathe his slutty bipolar girlfriend Marion (Delpy)." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Aug 2, 2007	2 Days In Paris (2007)	87%
D	"What could have at least been a halfway decent house-of-horrors scary movie digresses into a puddle of fake blood in this stale little thriller that peaks when its resident baddie mixes a batch of eyeballs in an electric blender." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Jul 26, 2007	Captivity (2007)	7%
D	"It's a sickening force-feeding commercial frenzy to sell cars, toys and war in the same breath that it pawns itself off as "cinema." This is not cinema. This is acid kool-aid for children. Don't drink it." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Jul 2, 2007	Transformers (2007)	57%
D	""Fay Grim" is the most inarticulate and grueling of all Hal Hartley's films, and a complete waste of time." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Jun 7, 2007	Fay Grim (2007)	44%
D	"This out-of-tune, off-kilter, lame-o finale (oh how I hope it's the last one) to the Mike Meyers-led "Shrek" franchise is so far removed from the first two films that doesn't seem related." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Jun 5, 2007	Shrek the Third (2007)	42%
D	""A Mighty Heart," like the other post-9/11 Hollywood movies ("United 93" and "World Trade Center"), is a would-be documentary subject inflated with promotion in its incarnation as a narrative feature." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Jun 4, 2007	A Mighty Heart (2007)	77%
D	"This nightmare-inducing film is as dark and lurid in tone as the mind of its maker." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted May 1, 2007	Zoo (2007)	56%
D	"Apart from its pro-war propaganda, that comes in the form of unrelenting voice-over narration, "300" is a dog of a movie where cookie-cutter CGI battle scenes show thirty actors pretending to fight to the death." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Mar 10, 2007	300 (2007)	60%
D	"In this unwatchable romantic comedy from director Michael Lehmann Diane Keaton plays Daphne Wilder, an inept mother of three pretty but not-believable-as-siblings daughters." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Feb 19, 2007	Because I Said So (2007)	5%
D	"Navel-gazing director Michel Gondry ("Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind") wears his developmentally arrested heart on his sleeve, on his pants, and on his forehead in the most self-indulgent movie of 2006." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Oct 25, 2006	The Science of Sleep (2006)	69%
D	"Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire is an endurance test for its audience." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Nov 14, 2005	Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)	89%
D	"�The Man�s� nebulous title indicates the sloppy nature of an �action comedy� movie that emits painfully little of either genre enticement." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Sep 6, 2005	The Man (2005)	11%
D	"If you've seen its theatrical trailer then you've seen "Red Eye."" -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Aug 27, 2005	Red Eye (2005)	78%
D	"The Dukes Of Hazzard is a movie that makes you feel unclean as a result of having seen it." -- ColeSmithey.com Posted Aug 19, 2005	The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)	14%

Genre: # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres ...	*(1-34* of 34)**

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