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CRITICS / AUTHORS REVIEWS AND ARTICLES
SIMON BRAUND
PUBLICATION(S)
Empire Magazine

STATS
Total Reviews: 35


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1/5
 
"Absolute tosh. A ridiculous, unerringly tedious plot is weighed down by listless performances from a cast who clearly wished they were somewhere else, despite the sumptuous locations."
Posted Apr 18, 2008
 
Fool's Gold (2008)10%
/
2/5
 
"On paper it looks like a gem – roaring 20s setting, verbal fireworks and a silly sport in its rude infancy. In practice, it's way off the pace, far too slow for its screwball pretensions and the kind of film that confuses pastiche with period detail."
Posted Apr 11, 2008
 
Leatherheads (2008)53%
/
5/5
 
"The birth of slapstick."
Posted Apr 2, 2008
 
The General (1927)91%
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1/5
 
"Obviously, it's rubbish."
Posted Mar 20, 2008
 
Meet the Spartans (2008)2%
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2/5
 
"Even The Rock's immense charisma cannot save this predicatable fare."
Posted Mar 7, 2008
 
The Game Plan (2007)27%
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2/5
 
"If not a train-wreck, this is certainly more than a fender-bender. In a world overflowing with targets for a satirical pasting, we needed something a lot sharper than this."
Posted Oct 10, 2007
 
The Invasion (2007)19%
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5/5
 
"Whale's erudite genius brings it all together. He sculpts every nuance of self-parody, social satire, horror, humour, wit and whimsy into a dazzling whole, keeping every one of his fantastical plates spinning until the tragic, inevitable finale."
Posted Sep 24, 2007
 
The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)100%
/
5/5
 
"What makes Freddy truly terrifying, and an inspired invention on Craven's part, is that he exists not in the real world but in the shadowy realm of dreams."
Posted Sep 21, 2007
 
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)94%
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2/5
 
"Shrek this ain't. A lacklustre effort hampered by limp dialogue and lazy plotting."
Posted Aug 3, 2007
 
Happily N'Ever After (2007)4%
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2/5
 
"Decidely average teen drama but with a few decent dance numbers."
Posted Mar 13, 2007
 
Stomp the Yard (2007)27%
/
1/5
 
"Torture. Impossible to imagine how it could've been worse."
Posted Dec 30, 2006
 
Gigli (2003)6%
/
3/5
 
"Good voice talent and some funny moments."
Posted Oct 21, 2006
 
Barnyard: The Original Party Animals (2006)23%
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2/5
 
"The script fights well against the cliche-ridden plot but this is very average all round."
Posted Oct 13, 2006
 
Stick It (2006)30%
/
4/5
 
"Bearing all the Mann hallmarks, this is visually enthralling, relentlessly stylish crime drama. A little too languorous for its own good at times, but still vastly superior entertainment."
Posted Aug 4, 2006
 
Miami Vice (2006)48%
/
3/5
 
"Walker and co. might get a healthy burst of screentime in the middle, but its the team of dogs who steal the show."
Posted May 6, 2006
 
Eight Below (2006)71%
/
3/5
 
"A solid, bare-knuckle action-thriller from Richard Lethal Weapon Donner that avoids most of the genre’s clichés and boasts a commendably dishevelled performance from Willis, as a washed-up NYPD flatfoot dissolving in self-loathing."
Posted May 6, 2006
 
16 Blocks (2006)56%
/
2/5
 
"A movie that somehow manages to be both irritatingly familiar and instantly forgettable."
Posted Apr 1, 2006
 
Yours, Mine, & Ours (2005)5%
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3/5
 
"On paper a routine sports yarn. On screen, thanks to Jackson refusing to phone it in, far more satisfying than you might expect."
Posted Apr 1, 2006
 
Coach Carter (2005)63%
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3/5
 
"A razor-sharp satire on class struggle and the evaporating America dream, which adroitly masquerades as a screwball star turn."
Posted Apr 1, 2006
 
Fun with Dick and Jane (2005)29%
/
4/5
 
"Crowe is still a master navigator of swampy territory, and any movie that can warm the heart and tickle the funny bone without selling its soul is to be cherished, warts and all."
Posted Feb 1, 2006
 
Elizabethtown (2005)28%
/
5/5
 
"Terrific. Top shelf talent at the top of their game, working immediately before they would change Hollywood."
Posted Nov 3, 2005
 
Mean Streets (1973)98%
/
2/5
 
"A disappointing treatment of fabulous source material."
Posted Aug 19, 2005
 
Bewitched (2005)25%
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4/5
 
"A haunting, perceptive and uncompromising examination of controversial subject matter, expertly written and directed by Paul Haggis and characterised by excellent performances from its starry cast."
Posted Aug 14, 2005
 
Crash (2005)75%
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4/5
 
"A full-on action flick, subversive rom-com and weapons-grade star vehicle that’s drenched in Tinseltown glitz, from a director who knows how to put the money on the screen while his tongue’s firmly in his cheek."
Posted Jun 6, 2005
 
Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005)59%
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3/5
 
"It's sexy, offbeat fun for the most part, but it's way too laid-back for its own good and, in the end, obstinately refuses to be anything more than the sum of its highly promising parts."
Posted May 14, 2004
 
The Big Bounce (2004)16%
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3/5
 
"Despite a few flickers of charm, the film seldom raises itself above the level of pleasant. And pleasant ain't sophisticated, and it certainly ain't sexy."
Posted May 14, 2004
 
Laws of Attraction (2004)18%
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2/5
 
"It's quite slick, but Seagal's fans won't necessarily get what they paid for."
Posted Aug 1, 2003
 
Half Past Dead (2002)2%
/
4/5
 
"Equal parts silly and dark, as all good comic book adaptations should be, and refreshing to see a super-antihero movie for a change."
Posted Jun 24, 2003
 
Hulk (2003)61%
/
2/5
 
"A dull soap with a baffling paucity of thrills."
Posted Apr 21, 2003
 
Biker Boyz (2003)22%
/
5/5
 
"Howard Hawks' finest moment."
Posted Mar 21, 2002
 
His Girl Friday (1940)97%
/
3/5
 
"Via a combination of undeniably smart action moves and a hitherto absent sense of stoic self-deprecation, Seagal is once again back on form."
Posted Apr 27, 2001
 
Exit Wounds (2001)32%
/
 
"Patchy at best."
Posted Jan 1, 2000
 
Cotton Mary (2000)36%
/
4/5
 
"downbeat, stylish and strange film"
Posted Jan 1, 2000
 
Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999)81%
/
5/5
 
"Reiner’s brilliant “rockumentary” sends up its subject matter and the documentary form, with such deft perception that confusing it with the genuine article is an easy mistake to make."
Posted Jan 1, 2000
 
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)96%
/
3/5
 
"Badham directs the whole thing with economy and pace."
Posted Jan 1, 2000
 
WarGames (1983)96%

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