ROTTEN TOMATOES: John Beifuss

WORST REVIEWED FILMS

Genre: # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres ...	*(1-29* of 29)**

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0/4	"Offers no more enlightenment or catharsis than a drugged insect could expect in the moment before it is skewered by a lepidopterist's pin." Posted Jun 17, 2008	The Strangers (2008)	41%
0/4	"The characters (a snail, a cow, a rock-n-roll rabbit, a train, a wooden soldier) and voice actors (Whoopi Goldberg, Judi Dench, Chevy Chase) seem chosen at random..." Posted Apr 14, 2006	Doogal (2006)	7%
0/4	"A nightmare vision of a theist, conformist America... It's like 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers,' except we're expected to root for the pod people." Posted Nov 30, 2004	Christmas with the Kranks (2004)	5%
0/4	"Wilson's spaced-out surfer style seems to have infected the entire project (or maybe it was Willie's weed)." Posted Feb 2, 2004	The Big Bounce (2004)	16%
0/4	"In a brief cameo, Christopher Walken sums up Affleck's screen presence when he tells Gigli: 'I know -- you don't know nothin'. I can tell just by lookin' at you.'" Posted Aug 4, 2003	Gigli (2003)	6%
0.5/4	"That Morgan Freeman is one narratin' son of a gun." Posted Jan 14, 2008	The Bucket List (2007)	42%
0.5/4	"The fact that God is depicted as a black man makes this post-Katrina flood tale particularly disturbing. Apparently, God wasn't concerned with finding a righteous man in New Orleans' Ninth Ward, but here he saves a rich white suburb from drowning." Posted Jun 21, 2007	Evan Almighty (2007)	23%
0.5/4	"An artifact from an alternate universe where Halle Berry and Bruce Willis star in 'Basic Instinct' rip-offs for Roger Corman's New Horizons Home Video company." Posted Apr 13, 2007	Perfect Stranger (2007)	10%
0.5/4	"Trying to find something of interest for your mind to cling to as you watch this film is like trying to grab a fistful of windowpane." Posted Feb 23, 2007	The Number 23 (2007)	8%
0.5/4	"*From start to finish, Norbit* is dismally unfunny, inspiring this Sign of the Apocalypse observation: Big Momma's House 2 was better.*" Posted Feb 9, 2007*	Norbit (2007)	9%
0.5/4	"Stefen Fangmeier establishes himself as the Uwe Boll of family-friendly fantasy." Posted Dec 22, 2006	Eragon (2006)	16%
0.5/4	"One awful 'dramatic' scene follows another, until we become almost awed (wait until you hear Fishburne's chef deliver a metaphorical speech about blueberry cobbler)." Posted Nov 27, 2006	Bobby (2006)	45%
0.5/4	"Dead on arrival." Posted Aug 18, 2006	Pulse (2006)	12%
0.5/4	"So desperate that barely a half hour passes before we get the inevitable jokes about Dr. Phil, Oprah, Al Sharpton, Tupac and Billy Dee." Posted Apr 21, 2006	Big Momma's House 2 (2006)	5%
0.5/4	"The adventures of Catwoman, Elektra, Lara Croft and Aeon Flux were positively Homeric compared to this simple-minded Hi-Def tedium..." Posted Mar 13, 2006	Ultraviolet (2006)	8%
'0.5/4'	"By the time Elton John sings, 'Soon as this is over, we'll go home,' moviegoers will be way ahead of him." Posted Oct 14, 2005	Elizabethtown (2005)	28%
0.5/4	"Na, na, na, gonna have a good time? Nay, nay, nay." Posted Dec 28, 2004	Fat Albert (2004)	21%
1/4	"Even before the 'gay' plot kicks in, the mix of bloated 'heroic' action with toilet humor and plugs for Hooters is unbearable..." Posted Oct 26, 2007	I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry (2007)	13%
1/4	"The only real laughs are supplied by the Seven Dwarfs, who are portrayed as hillbilly garden gnomes." Posted Jan 15, 2007	Happily N'Ever After (2007)	4%
1/4	"Watching these privileged young people fret over the the banal soap opera of their protected lives made me want to don a bandana and join a gang of socialist revolutionaries." Posted Sep 15, 2006	The Last Kiss (2006)	46%
1/4	"The latest example of a creepy new subgenre, the Sundance exploitation film. " Posted Sep 5, 2006	The Quiet (2006)	22%
1/4	"Pale WB-style hunks and hotties and a 'funny' black guy whose sole purpose is to say words like 'dawg' confront a CGI mist that looks like it could be erased with a couple of mouse clicks." Posted Jan 19, 2006	The Fog (2005)	5%
'1/4'	"When a woman complains that her boss has 'the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth,' she could be talking about Tony Scott or stating Scott's opinion of his audience." Posted Oct 14, 2005	Domino (2005)	19%
'1/4'	"A 'Mad About Gramps' episode that requires Falk to line-dance to Travis Tritt and otherwise demonstrate that old people sure are funny and cute and flatulent." Posted Sep 30, 2005	The Thing About My Folks (2005)	43%
1/4	"As synthetic and embarrassing as the knit lace-up shirt the 12-year-old hero wears to his first boy-girl dance." Posted May 4, 2005	House of D (2005)	10%
1/4	"This so-called thriller modulates the eerie static buzz of an empty frequency into the cinematic equivalent of sleep apnea." Posted Jan 7, 2005	White Noise (2005)	8%
1/4	"The Phantom calls himself a 'loathsome gargoyle,' but, unmasked, he looks more like a guy with a bad sunburn, or maybe a seafood allergy." Posted Dec 28, 2004	Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera (2004)	34%
1/4	"God-awful." Posted May 26, 2003	Bruce Almighty (2003)	49%
1/4	"If D.W. Griffith's 1915 Civil War stunner, 'The Birth of a Nation,' was 'history writ with lightning,' in the famous phrase of President Woodrow Wilson, than Ted Turner's 'Gods and Generals' is history writ with sorghum..." Posted Mar 6, 2003	Gods and Generals (2003)	8%

Genre: # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres ...	*(1-29* of 29)**

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