Paying good money to see any movie on this list is unfortunate, but paying to see two borders on carelessness. These are the cinematic scum normally found dumped unceremoniously in January, and if the studios really care, straight-to-video. Which movie has the singular distinction of being the worst-reviewed movie of 2006? The contenders are a basketball drama where the game hinges on the last shot as time is expiring; military recruits trying to be the best they can be; a parody of date movies; a remake of All the King's Men; and Sharon Stone getting back to basics.
From the
Scary Movie franchise to the forthcoming
Epic Movie, the spoof has become a staple in multiplexes in recent years. But no sub-genre worth its salt lacks its own
Ishtar, and it appears that
Date Movie, which "parodies" everything from
Meet the Parents to
When Harry Met Sally may stand as the nadir of the form. The film led Carina Chocano of the
Los Angeles Times to posit an ancient question: "Dudes, does a spoof count as a spoof if it's dumber and more obvious than the thing it's spoofing?" Apparently not: "It's a perfect storm of not funny," according to Jim Lane of the
Sacramento News and Review.
With our troops serving bravely overseas, one would think Hollywood would respond with films that speak to their unique challenges in this day and age. In the case of
Annapolis, however, recycling older military-themed pictures was the order of the day. A middling rip off of everything from
An Officer and a Gentleman to
Top Gun, the film is "the perfect movie for someone who has never before seen one," raved Devin Faraci from
CHUD, or "a corny, eighties throwback, with thematic mushiness, regressive sexual politics, and cheesy montages to match," according to Peter Canavese of
Groucho Reviews.
Ah, streetball. It's hoops' brash, up-tempo little brother. So why was
Crossover treated by critics like a redheaded stepchild? Too much talk, not enough (shooting the) rock. Oh, and it has a recycled storyline and was made with an absence of technical skill. "It shoots. And it shoots and shoots and shoots, but it never scores," wrote
Movie Mom's Nell Minow. "There will never be a tamer, lamer movie made about streetball," raved Matt Pais of
Metromix.
Sean Penn,
Jude Law,
Kate Winslet and
Anthony Hopkins team up for a remake of the 1949 best picture winner
All the King's Men. Sounds like a winner, right? Wrong. Critics almost uniformly pounded the film as a pretentious muddle. "The movie contains lots of sound and fury, but alas, it signifies nothing," wrote the
Austin Chronicle's Marjorie Baumgarten. "This is a misfire of almost epic proportions, a lavishly produced but wholly hollow and nonsensical adaptation of a magnificently constructed novel," said
NYC Film Critic's Ethan Alter.
However, those are the the worst of the bunch. With an adjusted score of 19.37 and a Tomatometer of 7 percent, the worst-reviewed movie goes to ...
Basic Instinct 2.
Though she tried her darnedest, it was difficult for
Sharon Stone to make us believe she's the same femme fatale that wielded the ice pick her breakout role so many years ago. But if Rocky Balboa can have one more go at it, why can't Stone? Unfortunately,
BI2 is everything the original is not: dull and lacking in trashy good fun. "Here is a movie so outrageous and preposterous it is either (a) suicidal or (b) throbbing with a horrible fascination. I lean toward (b)," wrote Roger Ebert. "The only real intrigue comes in the film's risky flirtation with high camp," according to Kirk Honeycutt of the
Hollywood Reporter.