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Critics Consensus: 10,000 B.C. is Primitive; Bank Gets the Job Done
Also: College Trip is on a Road to nowhere.
by Tim Ryan and Alex Vo | March 06, 2008
Blog Article | Discuss Article

This week at the movies, we've got prehistoric passion (10,000 B.C., starring Steven Strait and Camilla Belle), travel travails (College Road Trip, starring Martin Lawrence and Raven-Symone), and hard-boiled heists (The Bank Job, starring Jason Statham). What do the critics have to say?

If you're looking for subtlety, Roland Emmerich is not your man. That's not to say he's a bad filmmaker; he's made some quality big-budget, high-concept yarns (Independence Day spring to mind) that deliver thrills aplenty. Unfortunately, critics say his latest, 10,000 B.C., is mired in the stone age. B.C. stars Steven Strait and Camilla Belle as a pair of hunting-and-gathering honeys; when Belle gets kidnapped, Strait and members of their tribe journey into the unknown to save her -- and run across saber-toothed tigers, wooly mammoths, and other civilizations. The pundits say 10,000 B.C. doesn't lack for compelling visuals, but it's weak on plot and characterization and filled with unintentional comedy. At 12 percent on the Tomatometer, 10,000 B.C. is a Mesolithic mess. It's also the worst-reviewed film of Emmerich's career.


"Jiminy Jilickers! Just missed the Red Bull Flugtag!"

With College Road Trip, Martin Lawrence joins Ice Cube and Robin Williams in the pantheon of once-edgy performers toplining poorly-reviewed family road trip comedies. Lawrence stars as the overbearing father of Melanie (Raven-Symone), whose plan for a just-the-girls trip to look at schools is undermined by her dad's insistence on going along for the ride; subsequently, laffs are had and lessons are learned, at least in theory. The pundits say Road Trip features over-the-top gags and a remarkable shortage of comic imagination. At zero percent on the Tomatometer, this is the worst-reviewed film of Lawrence's career, edging out the five percent Big Momma's House 2.


Maiden voyage of the Battleship Pigtemkin.

After touring the martial arts circuit in movies like The Transporter and War, Jason Statham returns to his grimy thriller roots with The Bank Job. Based on the real-life 1971 robbery of security deposit boxes, he stars as a petty thug in over his head as the job spirals out of control. It's a throwback to the heist movies of yore, and according to the critics (to quote The French Connection's tagline) the time is right for an out-and-out thriller like this. Director Roger Donaldson never lets the pace flag, forging a movie that's dramatic, funny, and plain entertaining. At 73 percent on the Tomatometer, The Bank Job is looking like a solid investment. (And check out our Total Recall feature on heist movies here.)


"Who knew Louise Brooks could bend like that?"

Also opening this week in limited release:

  • My Name is Albert Ayler, a doc about the legendary avant garde jazz saxophonist, is at 92 percent.
  • Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, a period comedy of manners starring Frances McDormand and Amy Adams, is at 74 percent.
  • Snow Angels, a lovelorn drama from David Gordon Green starring Kate Beckinsale and Sam Rockwell, is at 71 percent.
  • Gus Van Sant's latest, Paranoid Park, the tale of a few dark days in the life of a teenage skater, is at 71 percent (check out our take from Cannes here).
  • Last Stop for Paul, a film about a pair of globetrotters shot around the world using improvised scenes, is at 67 percent.
  • Girls Rock!, a rockumentary about a camp where young girls put bands together, is at 67 percent.
  • Married Life, a dark comedy about the seamy underside of the 1950s starring Chris Cooper, Pierce Brosnan, Patricia Clarkson, and Rachel McAdams, is at 55 percent.
  • Stephen Chow's latest, CJ7, a combination of martial arts, sci-fi, and family film, is at 43 percent.


Testing out the rumor that Stratocasters taste like fried banana.

Recent Roland Emmerich Films:
-----------------------------------------
46% -- The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
62% -- The Patriot (2000)
25% -- Godzilla (1998)
62% --
Independence Day (1996)
43% -- Stargate (1994)


Related Items
Movie: Paranoid Park
Girls Rock!
Last Stop For Paul
CJ7
College Road Trip
The Bank Job
My Name Is Albert Ayler
Snow Angels
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Married Life
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Comments (1-20 of 22 posts) | Reply
Bloody Mathias writes:
on Mar 06 2008 04:47 PM

Roland i-can't-make-a-film-for-less-than-$150-million Emmerich seriously needs to take some screenwriting classes to learn how to write scripts that include plot, character development and dramatic scenes.

He's up there with Micheal Bay for pure mega-blockbuster action-driven leave-your-head-at-the-door-cuz-you're-bound-to-lose-many-brain-cells filmmaking.

And oh yeah, Martin Lawrence's career is circling the drain fast.............


(Reply to this)
196417
TDeWolfe writes:
on Mar 06 2008 05:40 PM

"That's not to say he's a bad filmmaker" Yes, he is.

(Reply to this)
kissman24 writes:
on Mar 06 2008 08:00 PM

I'm not surprised that 10,000 B.C. is an epic suck-fest. The previews looked terrible. The CGI looked weak. The acting... who is in it again? I'm sure it'll be #1, though. This sure looks to be a lousy week at the movies.

(Reply to this)
Paralyzer writes:
on Mar 06 2008 11:34 PM

10 000 BC looks dumb, the trailer is dumb and posters defineatly say "hey come watch all the pretty fx and fight squences" but i wont b surprised if it makes money.cause most people dont mind dumb movies.

(Reply to this)
MovieSamurai writes:
on Mar 06 2008 11:35 PM

judging by his tomatometer you'd assume that this next one would've been a 62%...alas, it was not to be.

(Reply to this)
264325
MMacKK writes:
on Mar 07 2008 03:41 AM

I kind of got the feeling this was unlike Roland's previous work. The others inspired and instilled a sense of fear and wonderment.

(Reply to this)
490024
Ghenghis writes:
on Mar 07 2008 04:30 AM

hope nobody starts comparing 10,000 B.C to 300..thats wub be dumb

(Reply to this)
310595
Matanuki writes:
on Mar 07 2008 05:13 AM

In reply to this comment (#1618891)
How about comparing it to the far superior film that it clumsily, obviously, shamelessly attempt to rip off? Apocalypto.

(Reply to this)
310595
Matanuki writes:
on Mar 07 2008 05:15 AM

In reply to this comment (#1618891)
In fact, in good fun, Roland Emmerich, for now on we will call you Almost.

(Reply to this)
425356
TombstoneLawDog writes:
on Mar 07 2008 06:27 AM

In reply to this comment (#1618926)
...yeah, I gotta agree with Mat'- Just reading the blurb up there evoked mad flash backs to Apocalypto..

(Reply to this)
Elixor writes:
on Mar 07 2008 06:32 AM

Almost all Emmerich movies suck, with Independence Day not being an exception. Bloody Mathias is right on the money, his movies are are action driven, cheap attempts (creativity and direction-wise, obviously the movies themselves are overly expensive) at movie thrills, that don't make any sense. Stargate at least had some effort to it, I'll him some credit for that movie not killing brains.

Although Apocalypto is probably a better movie than what 10,000 BC will be. I was one of the few that found that movie completely boring. I can see how visually people are drawing the comparisons, but the odds that Emmerich will have story that's anywhere nearly as coherent as Apocalypto in this movie are close to nil.

The Bank Job looks good. I'll definitely be seeing that.

Martin Lawrence's career is already down the drain, unfortunately it's clogged and he keeps surfacing.


(Reply to this)
252550
IMAmoose24 writes:
on Mar 07 2008 06:39 AM

Blue Streak was funny...

(Reply to this)
310595
Matanuki writes:
on Mar 07 2008 06:51 AM

In reply to this comment (#1618965)
Martin just needs to fire his agent. Quick!

(Reply to this)
473187
OperaGhost21 writes:
on Mar 07 2008 07:54 AM

I'm glad The Bank Job turned out to be good as far as the critics are concerned. I'm looking forward to seeing this one.

(Reply to this)
498727
Dinobot77 writes:
on Mar 07 2008 09:14 AM

I just saw 10,000 last night and I have to admit that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. To me, it was actually pretty good, although there were many things that seemed to be a rip-off from Apocalypto. I was going in thinking that Emmerich was going to focus heavily on the CGI and forget about the story all together. Although the CGI was there, he actually did not go overboard with it imo. The story was pretty good in its own right. Actually, to me it was a better story than Apocalypto. Unfortunately, I can see this movie being spoofed from beginning to end.

(Reply to this)
Ecs5001 writes:
on Mar 07 2008 09:45 AM

Martin Lawrence always sucked. If a movie is good with him in it, it has to be because of someone else. 10,000 B.C. flat out a rip off on a underrated film Apocalypto. The Bank Job looks gritty and great.

(Reply to this)
19103
dethburger writes:
on Mar 07 2008 12:11 PM

Dinobot77 please, for the love of god, tell me you're joking.

(Reply to this)
310595
Matanuki writes:
on Mar 07 2008 01:20 PM

In reply to this comment (#1619220)
It's then that the room goes silent, all waiting in eager anticipation for Dinobot77's answer to the question at hand...

(Reply to this)
lilrummagesalecoat writes:
on Mar 07 2008 01:34 PM

is it true theres a hulk and a new dark knight trailer in front of 10,000 b.c.? i read that somewhere earlier but u know how the rumor wheel works.

(Reply to this)
AntonChigurh writes:
on Mar 07 2008 05:48 PM

I liked emerich's the patriot witch had charactor devolpment and good action to boot. But wow 10000 sends a new benchmark in big buget ****.

(Reply to this)
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