What is 100% missing here is a script of even the most elemental literacy, an inkling of genuine wit, and anything resembling acting.
Swept Away (2002)
Tomatometer
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Reviews Counted:77
Fresh:4
Rotten:73
Average Rating:2.8/10
Consensus: Muddled and lacking the political context of the original, Swept Away offers further proof that Madonna can't act.
Runtime: 1 hr 33 mins
Genre: Comedies
Synopsis: MADONNA and ADRIANO GIANNINI star in director/screenwriter GUY RITCHIE'S contemporary adaptation of Lina Wertmuller's 1974 romantic comedy "Swept Away," a story of love, sex, drugs and too much... MADONNA and ADRIANO GIANNINI star in director/screenwriter GUY RITCHIE'S contemporary adaptation of Lina Wertmuller's 1974 romantic comedy "Swept Away," a story of love, sex, drugs and too much money -- all set against the backdrop of a Mediterranean island paradise. Amber (MADONNA) is 40, beautiful, rich, spoiled and arrogant beyond measure. Selfish, superficial and childless, she steamrolls her way through life, leaving in her wake an ever-present aura of repressed rage, pungent dissatisfaction and secret longing. Nothing makes this woman happy, including her wealthy but passive husband Tony (BRUCE GREENWOOD), a pharmaceutical kingpin. Knowing that his wife is bored by their usual exotic vacations, Tony surprises Amber by taking her and two other couples, Marina (JEANNE TRIPPLEHORN) and Michael (DAVID THORNTON), Todd (MICHAEL BEATTIE) and Debi (ELIZABETH BANKS) on a private cruise from Greece to Italy. But as usual, Amber dismisses her husband's pathetic efforts to please her with a contemptuous snort. Complaining about everything from the size of their private jet to their choice of companions, Amber loses it when she sees that the sleek yacht she was expecting is actually a converted Greek fishing boat, complete with a malodorous crew and most horrifyingly -- no gym. Forced into an amenities-free vacation of playing cards and relaxing, Amber finds a target for her anger in the ship's first mate, Giuseppe (ADRIANO GIANNINI). Giuseppe, a strapping young fisherman with a wicked sense of humor and a repressed rage of his own, bitterly resents his American clients and everything they stand for, especially Amber. Amber senses his rejection and quickly makes sport of antagonizing him. Challenged by his refusal to cower in her formidable presence, she needles him incessantly, calling him names (Guido, Pepe, Pee pee, etc.), insulting his "fishes" and ridiculing him in front of his crew and the other guests. Unable to defend himself without losing his job, Giuseppe is furious, but is also aware of an involuntary and unstoppable attraction toward the miserable Amber. Hours after her companions have gone exploring the underwater caves one day, Amber demands that Giuseppe take her to join them despite his warnings about the late hour and questionable weather. Before long, the boat's motor fails and they drift helplessly as dusk approaches and Amber's whining reaches an earsplitting crescendo. Two days at sea, a thunderstorm and one sardine later they are shipwrecked together on a deserted island. Suddenly, the rules have changed. Amber, to her horror, is now completely dependent on Giuseppe -- and he takes full advantage to retaliate. Will they ever be rescued? Will Giuseppe's taunting become too much for the newly vulnerable Amber to bear. The result is a passionate and hilarious role reversal, with a surprising conclusion that neither Amber nor Giuseppe sees coming. -- © 2002 Screen Gems [More]
Starring: Madonna, Adriano Giannini, Jennifer Aniston, Bruce Greenwood
Starring: Madonna, Adriano Giannini, Jennifer Aniston, Bruce Greenwood, Jeanne Tripplehorn, David Thornton, Elizabeth Banks
Director: Guy Ritchie
Director: Guy Ritchie
Screenwriter: Lina Wertmuller
Producer: Matthew Vaughn
Composer: Michel Colombier
Studio: Columbia Pictures
Reviews for Swept Away
This rough trade Punch-and-Judy act didn't play well then and it plays worse now.
The best that can be said about the work here of Scottish director Ritchie ... is that he obviously doesn't have his heart in it.
The fact that Swept Away got made at all implies there simply is no dissuading Madonna from her movie-star aspirations. Her tenacity is admirable, but it's also block-headed.
As Madonna vehicles go, this one is hardly the worst. But it does show the diva-actress at her most unappealing.
Neither a rousing success nor a blinding embarrassment. Still, it just sits there like a side dish no one ordered.
No yacht was harmed during shooting. It's the movie that's the shipwreck.
This remake of Lina Wertmuller's 1975 eroti-comedy might just be the biggest husband-and-wife disaster since John and Bo Derek made the ridiculous Bolero.
On top of a foundering performance, [Madonna's] denied her own athleticism by lighting that emphasizes every line and sag.
Sound the trumpets: For the first time since Desperately Seeking Susan, Madonna doesn't suck as an actress.
An awful B-movie, [its] few enjoyable moments come when it is so bad that it becomes kind of fun to laugh at.
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