Seems like you just can't turn on your computer without getting more news from the amazingly consistent filmmaker known as Uwe Boll. With his "BloodRayne" set to hit theaters in a few months and the ink barely dry on his "Postal" contract, the prolific schlock-slinger comes up with another press release: He will release his "Dungeon Siege" in two parts, separated by the space of one month.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, "Producer-director Uwe Boll has created a new distribution company, Event Film, which will release the $60 million "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale" in two separate parts in wide release on Nov. 3, 2006, and Dec. 1, 2006. The movie stars Jason Statham, Ray Liotta and Leelee Sobieski.

In a separate development, Boll has also optioned film rights to the controversial video game "Postal," which has sold more than 1 million units despite being banned in 13 countries and having been publicly condemned by U.S. Sen. Joe Lieberman, D-Conn. Boll has optioned the game from developer Running With Scissors with plans to film the $10 million-$15 million feature in late 2006 for a 2007 theatrical, marking the 10th anniversary of the game's release.

Regarding the plans to release "Dungeon Siege" in two parts, Boll said it will be "a huge epic adventure, and to support the exhibitors who can't accept a movie so long, we decided to split the movie in half."

Why not split the movie into eighths and sell it directly to the Sci-Fi Channel? Oh, and if you want to be in on all the snarky jokes: Just go out and rent "House of the Dead" & "Alone in the Dark" already. You know you want to at this point.