The performances are so wooden that things improve when Eric frickin’ Roberts turns up with a bad wig.
DOA: Dead or Alive (2007)
Genre: Action/Adventure
Starring: Devon Aoki, Jaime Pressly, Sarah Carter, Holly Valance, Natassia Malthe
Screenwriter: J.F. Lawton, Adam Gross, Seth Gross, Granz Henman
Producer: Mark A. Altman, Paul W.S. Anderson
Reviews
A film that boys aged 12 to 15 are going to lap up thanks to endless shots of Valance and her curvy co-stars in their swimsuits. But with a plot even flimsier than the bikinis, there’s nothing here for the rest of us.
An ideal vehicle for Yuen, who is a dab hand at filming imaginative hand-to-hand combat sequences.
If you're a 15 year old boy, this stands every chance of becoming your favourite film in the entire world. At the very least it's the best movie adaptation of a video game so far.
The über-villain is played, very tragically indeed, by poor Eric Roberts, brother of Julia, and he walks and talks as if his head has been used for kickboxing practice.
Yes, this is a genuinely terrible film. But it's also good fun.
You know what to expect with Paul WS Anderson onboard as producer.
A metaphorical training bra for ogling boys - along with second childhood Dirty Old Aged men - DOA gives new meaning to females hooking up and hanging out, when it comes to airborne upper body intimate wear and its gravity defying plastic contents alike
It's all about as thrilling as watching the countryside whiz by in the car.
There is enough masturbation fodder here to keep many 11-year-old kids who have yet to find daddy's porn stash very happy.
If you only ever see one bad movie about warrior chicks who meet on a tropical isle for a fight contest, make it DOA: Dead or Alive.
DOA is a bad, cheesy and cheap production that nevertheless has enough goofy appeal to warrant watching with your buddies...
There was a time when movies like DOA: Dead or Alive lurked sheepishly at schoolboy height on video store shelves, spines straining to accommodate the charms of their actresses.
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