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News / Columns / Total Recall
Total Recall: Best Movie Wizards
With a new Harry Potter flick hitting theaters, we run down the best practitioners of cinematic sorcery.
by RT Staff | July 16, 2009
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Class is back in session at Hogwarts, with Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince hitting screens this week. Since the academy is a place where young witches and wizards practice their craft, we at Rotten Tomatoes thought it would be a good time to count down some of the most spellbinding mystics who've ever graced the big screen. The entrants on our list of memorable movie wizards share many of the same attributes: musty spell books, magic wands, and unkempt beards, as well as prickly people skills and the ability to rouse the dead. However, they've also provided many a fantasy film with magical moments. Read on for a compendium of cinema's finest sorcerers! (And don't forget to check out all the reviews for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.)


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10. Akiro (Conan the Barbarian)

When we meet Akiro (Mako) in Conan the Barbarian, he's not exactly on an upward trend, living a hermit-like existence and tending to an ancient cemetery. But when Conan happens by, the two of them become tight, which comes in handy later when Akiro is called upon to revive his muscle-bound pal from the dead. It's a good career move; by the end of Conan the Destroyer, Akiro has a new gig as the chief wizard of Shadizar. In addition to sorcery, Akiro is a master in the mystical art of voiceover work, providing the narration for both Conan movies.


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9. Tim the Enchanter (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Tim the Enchanter (John Cleese) may not be the kindliest of wizards, but he has several qualities that set him apart from the ranks of cinematic sorcerers. He has the ability to blow stuff up, which he utilizes liberally (he even has a flame-throwing staff!). He speaks theatrically and portentously in a thick Scottish brogue ("Death awaits you all... with nasty, big, pointy teeth!" goes a typical oratorical flourish). And he wears an awesome hat with rams' horns on it. He also helps guide King Arthur and his men to the Cave of Caerbannog, dispensing fireballs along in all directions with little discipline, but Arthur and his men fail to heed Tim's dire warnings about the cave's seemingly innocuous defender -- with tragic results. A word of advice, kids: when a wizard -- no matter how gruff and ill-tempered -- offers insider knowledge, you should probably listen up.


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8. Lo-Pan (Big Trouble in Little China)

Wizened and wheelchair-bound one minute, 10 feet tall and shooting laser beams out of his eyes the next, the ancient Chinese warlord Lo-Pan (James Hong) -- a.k.a. David Lo-Pan, CEO of the Wing Kong Import-Export Trading Company -- overcame a somewhat conflicted relationship with the mortal plane to wield a stack of fearsome powers that included a trio of weather-themed martial artists, championship-level hologram thumb-wrestling skills, and the ability to send people to the Hell of Upside-Down Sinners. He is also, so far as we know, the only wizard ever to utter the immortal words, "Now this really p---es me off to no end." But the best thing about Lo-Pan has to be his raison d'être: For all his insults, kidnapping, and murdering, all he really wanted was a wife. Sure, he was a little picky -- she had to have green eyes, a rather uncommon attribute in Chinese girls -- but he kept trying for centuries, and who among us can't respect that kind of tenacity?


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7. High Aldwin (Willow)

Most of the wizards on our list either hold exalted positions on their local royal courts or act as magical free agents, but Willow's High Aldwin -- played memorably by Hollywood legend Billy Barty -- is a different breed of warlock, acting as a sort of mayor for the diminutive Nelwyns. Between his position as a beleaguered bureaucrat, his less-than-imposing stature, and the fact that his wizardry has more to do with an impressive gift for flimflam than anything truly magical, you might be tempted to dismiss the High Aldwin as an unworthy interloper on this list, but we ask you: Have you ever turned an apple into a bird, bossed an Ewok around, or determined which finger holds the power to control the universe? Didn't think so.


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6. Miracle Max (The Princess Bride)

Fast-talking Miracle Max (Billy Crystal) makes only a brief appearance in The Princess Bride when Fezzik and Inigo Montoya deposit an expired Westley at his doorstep. When we first meet him, it's apparent Max is a slightly shifty old character with a prince-sized chip on his shoulder. He quickly informs Fezzik and Inigo that Westley is merely "mostly dead" and, before he agrees to revive him, proceeds to ask the hopeful duo how much money they have and whether or not their desire to revive Westley is based on the fact that he owes them a gambling debt. Max is clearly a curmudgeon and a cynic, and he only agrees to help Westley when Inigo informs him that doing so will mean pain and humiliation for the prince who fired him, but he ultimately proves he's worthy of the "Miracle" in his name when he succeeds in bringing Westley back to life. Well, sort of... Westley remains partially paralyzed for pretty much the rest of the film.

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Comments (1-20 of 150 posts) | Reply
dj Mark
dj Mark writes:
on Jul 16 2009 10:15 AM

So Gandalf is #1.... well DUH. But High Aldwin??? You guys were really reaching for source material eh?

(Reply to this)
Logan A.
Logan A. writes:
on Jul 16 2009 10:17 AM

Yeah Gandolf does work.

(Reply to this)
Alessandro T.
Alessandro T. writes:
on Jul 16 2009 10:17 AM

Gandalf is... way too epic, what about Raiden, from MK. He`s a wizard in my books.

(Reply to this)
RT-Matchity
RT-Matchity writes:
on Jul 16 2009 10:22 AM

Whatever - the High Aldwin rocks! And Raiden is the Thunder God of the MK universe.

(Reply to this)
ffamilyguy
ffamilyguy writes:
on Jul 16 2009 10:25 AM

nerds

(Reply to this)
TheArshMan
TheArshMan writes:
on Jul 16 2009 10:41 AM

get rid of someone, and put in saruman from lotr.

(Reply to this)
Logan A.
Logan A. writes:
on Jul 16 2009 10:45 AM

But Saruman is a DARK wizard...sounds like another RT Total Recall should be in order..ahah

(Reply to this)
Racer Z
Racer Z writes:
on Jul 16 2009 10:53 AM

Where are Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi? Star Wars has always had more in common with Fantasy than Science Fiction and those two most definitely qualify as wizards in the traditional sense.

(Reply to this)
jacog
jacog writes:
on Jul 16 2009 11:03 AM

An gads, poor poor Willow has a seriously naff tomatometer score. It's an awesome and fun film.

But anyhoo... good list... just a bit short.


(Reply to this)
RT-Ryan
RT-Ryan writes:
on Jul 16 2009 11:16 AM

I haven't seen willow in well over a decade, if not longer, but I remember loving that movie, too. I think I even still have it on VHS somewhere back at my parents' place.

(Reply to this)
Confounded
Confounded writes:
on Jul 16 2009 11:24 AM

In reply to this comment (#2527634)
You can't call Yoda or Obi-Wan "wizards" because then you'd be calling the Force "magic." And woe be the day you piss off an army of Star Wars geeks by calling it that.

How does the High Aldwin get on the list over Willow himself? He fooled the most powerful sorcerer in the world with a disappearing pig trick!

Also I'd be willing to argue for:

Ergo the Magnificent from Krull
The Childlike Empress from Neverending Story
Jareth the Goblin King from Labyrinth (duh)
Mickey from Fantasia
The Mystics from The Dark Crystal
The kid from The Wizard (Powerglove is as close to get to a magic wand in the 90s)


(Reply to this)
Kevin E.
Kevin E. writes:
on Jul 16 2009 11:36 AM

What about, I don't know....Harry Potter?!

(Reply to this)
King Kubrick
King Kubrick writes:
on Jul 16 2009 11:38 AM

where's the wiz? I call bull on this list. Also Merlin started it all and therefore should be numero uno

(Reply to this)
Racer Z
Racer Z writes:
on Jul 16 2009 11:42 AM

In reply to this comment (#2527652)
Yes, but in the traditional fantasy narrative, Yoda and Obi-Wan fill the typical wizard archetype. Structurally, Star Wars is no different from Harry Potter or LOTR. Indeed, the Force IS magic in the SW universe.

(Reply to this)
ARTaylor
ARTaylor writes:
on Jul 16 2009 11:55 AM

In reply to this comment (#2527660)
Plus, Uncle Own does call Old Ben a "crazy old wizard," and the one guy on the Death Star, his name escapes me, does call the Force "sorcerer ways" earning him Vader's Force choke. The original trilogy does seem to indicate that the Force is magical and mystical, not just bacteria.

(Reply to this)
D Effin W
D Effin W writes:
on Jul 16 2009 12:13 PM

Ugh... I hate the LOTR series. And hate is a strong word. Still not strong enough to portray my feelings over that series. But its a Total Recall list. What about The Tall Man from the Phantasm series? lol

(Reply to this)
RT-Matchity
RT-Matchity writes:
on Jul 16 2009 12:29 PM

We thought about Yoda, but since he doesn't rock any kind of hat (which is part of the standard wizard uniform), he doesn't make the list.

(Reply to this)
sund7cuU
sund7cuU writes:
on Jul 16 2009 12:30 PM

For some sweet duelling-wizard action, I recommend Boris Karloff vs Vincent Price in "The Raven" (1963).
On Youtube search for "The Raven Final Fight"
(and in case you're wondering--NO, there was no wizard duel in Poe's poem!) lol


(Reply to this)
JUDGE DREDD
JUDGE DREDD writes:
on Jul 16 2009 12:39 PM

In reply to this comment (#2527667)
I agree that the Jedi/Sith could be classed as Wizards, theyre basically space wizards so have been renamed accordingly. And in general there are many types of magic anyway such as illusion/alchemy/magician/spells etc. Jedi/Sith use elemental forces such as controlling the living force, a trick that only THEY can do. Some traditional wizards also control elemental forces such as Earth wind fire and air. Is this not similar the the force?

The only beef i can see with Star Wars not making the list is who out of all the Jedi/Sith would you choose to represent? Probably Yoda?

Anyways, props to who ever mentioned Willow, an awesome movie still with great fun and music score.


(Reply to this)
ColinTheCimmerian
ColinTheCimmerian writes:
on Jul 16 2009 12:40 PM

Nice list; I would have put Merlin ahead of Dumbledore, because, let's face it, Merlin is a freakin' institution, and Dumbledore is kind of a newcomer. Plus, Merlin is super awesome. But he's in the top 3 so I'm satisfied.

I like the inclusion of Akiro from Conan too. He was annoying in Conan the Destroyer (but so were most of the characters, as well as the movie in general), but loved him in Conan the Barbarian.

I'd be up for including Obi-Wan Kenobi. Not the version of him from the prequels, but the original trilogy Obi-Wan could be classified as a wizard in my book.

Interesting that neither wizard from Ralph Bakshi's 'Wizards' made it; I thought one or the other might.


(Reply to this)
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