ROTTEN TOMATOES: Critics Consensus: Rambo is No Rocky, Guess Meet the Spartans Tomatometer! Comments

Critics Consensus: Rambo is No Rocky, Guess Meet the Spartans Tomatometer!

by Tim Ryan | January 24, 2008

Summary

This week at the movies, we've got vigilante justice, internet intrigue, deft dancing, and Spartan satires. What do the critics have to say? Back to Article

(1-71 of 71 posts) | Reply

jokerboy1991 writes:
on Jan 24 2008 04:15 PM

I cant lie I am probably gonna see Rambo, yes ittl probably be stupid, but I think ittl be fun to watch with some freinds. Meet the Spartans looks reall awful, I hated Date Movie and Epic Movie.

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jokerboy1991 writes:
on Jan 24 2008 04:18 PM

I love that comment rent oscar nominated Norbit or boring Zodiac, how does Zodia get no nods which was a great movie, Norbit uhhhhhhhh. where is thou Eddie Murphys sense of humor?

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AudioNinja writes:
on Jan 24 2008 04:26 PM

Meet the Spartans looks better than some of the other spoof movies of late (Epic Movie, anyone?). But as I've told my friends: If I see one movie this month, I see Cloverfield. If I see 2 movies this month, I see Cloverfield twice. If I see three movies this month, and the third time I'm drunk/high, than I probably see Meet the Spartans.; Or maybe I go see how Cloverfield is when I'm stoned. Tough call.

Tomatometer: 17%

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kenporules writes:
on Jan 24 2008 04:42 PM

Meet the Spartans, if the trailer is any indication (I honestly can't picture a single person finding that funny): 0%

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daycare writes:
on Jan 24 2008 04:51 PM

Looks like the only good movie coming out this week is how She move. I am going to see that. I will just watch the first 3 Rambo film. i sure they are a lot better then the 4 one.

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lilheclou writes:
on Jan 24 2008 04:53 PM

5% the spartins get for movie those spoff movies are terrible

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SplendidIsolation writes:
on Jan 24 2008 05:20 PM

Meet the Spartans-2%

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Mr. Bowler writes:
on Jan 24 2008 05:24 PM

Meet The Spartans: 3%. RT sure has had a lot of these guessing games, but then again it is January.

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willvaughn70 writes:
on Jan 24 2008 05:36 PM

i honestly believe that the Meet the Spartans page will simply implode and become a black hole of suck that will eventually destroy rotten tomatoes and possibly the entire internet. At the very least it will definitely not turn Kevin Sorbo's career around but I am glad to see diedrich bader is still working. Good for him.

2% and that's being generous.

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gizmo12688 writes:
on Jan 24 2008 05:42 PM

I'll go out on a limb and say 10% for Spartans...

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m_ioannidis writes:
on Jan 24 2008 05:49 PM

Meet the Spartans 2%
some fool will give this crap a good review

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BrianInSD writes:
on Jan 24 2008 06:04 PM

I will say 6% for Spartans but only because 666 is the number of the beast and the makers of these movies have clearly sold their souls to Satan in order to keep getting audiences for them.

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rdproductions writes:
on Jan 24 2008 06:10 PM

Meet the Spartans: 0%

I'm still seeing Rambo because I've been wanting to see it.

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arendr writes:
on Jan 24 2008 06:24 PM

Can I give Meet the Spartans a negative Tomatometer? Seriously, that movie looks like the worst movie of all time.

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~*Admiral Snowstorm*~ writes:
on Jan 24 2008 06:24 PM

Meet the Spartans: 1%. It seems like they get harsher with each passing installment from the two of the six writers of Scary Movie. Date Movie: 8%. Epic Movie: 2%. And this? Well, I won't lie, it looks better than Epic Movie, but that's not much of a compliment in the first place, is it?

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eltouche writes:
on Jan 24 2008 06:39 PM

Meet the Spartans - these movies are a low rent 'Mad' magazine on a movie screen... and are like crack for kids in a certain age range. Reviews are pointless. However, some "critics" never fail to surprise me so I'll guess 4% will actually be positive.

Rambo - I grew up with those, so I'll watch at some point... with a few beers, as a guilty pleasure.

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ChiWoWo writes:
on Jan 24 2008 06:44 PM

Meet the Spartans: 0%

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kissman24 writes:
on Jan 24 2008 06:51 PM

I'll still probably endure "Rambo" since I'm a Stallone fan.

As for "Meet the Spartans", my guess is -3%.

I wouldn't see "Meet the Spartans" if I had free passes.

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eternity. writes:
on Jan 24 2008 06:57 PM

2%. One good review from Owen Gleibermann.

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Schumacherh8ter writes:
on Jan 24 2008 07:09 PM

"Meet The Spartans"--5555.5%. I HATE Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg. I had a dream last night where they were "traded" for Heath Ledger and Brad Renfro.

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A Lapse In Reason writes:
on Jan 24 2008 07:14 PM

11 percent

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Comment writes:
on Jan 24 2008 07:21 PM

Meet The Spartans 3%, there will be one stupid critic who gives it the thumbs up.

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evilralphwiggum writes:
on Jan 24 2008 07:22 PM

yeah 2% sounds about right.
but..i'm hoping for 0%
:)
or at least..i'd love to see 0%

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bluestar2000 writes:
on Jan 24 2008 07:30 PM

I might see Rambo this weekend. Meet The Spartans is going to be ****. I'm only guessing 2% on the tomato reader.

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vaodsi writes:
on Jan 24 2008 07:31 PM

0

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arcadefire325 writes:
on Jan 24 2008 07:45 PM

1%-somebody will rate it as a good movie. that person should be beaten to death immediately.

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bookworm1994 writes:
on Jan 24 2008 07:58 PM

I'm leaning toward zero and then I'm thinking ten or so . . .

Meet the Spartans: 7%

Heh. Love that Untraceable comment.

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Jimbo93 writes:
on Jan 24 2008 08:01 PM

Meet the Spartans - 4%

But the trailer has some funny moments.

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GelflingJen writes:
on Jan 24 2008 08:14 PM

I dry heaved when the preview came on TV for the spartans.

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arendr writes:
on Jan 24 2008 08:21 PM

In reply to this comment (#1517836)
THE TRAILER DOES NOT HAVE FUNNY MOMENTS.

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FLYmeatwad writes:
on Jan 24 2008 08:27 PM

"Meet the Spartans" : 2%

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diegobaz writes:
on Jan 24 2008 08:40 PM

I like the way they described Meet the Spartans: 300 You Got Served. I don't know how badly Meet the Spartans'll suck (can there be anything worse than Epic Movie?), but I like that idea: the fusion of seemingly incompatible storylines - maybe if some of Hollywood's more talented flickmakers took a stab at this sort of thing, we'd get more entertaining & worthwhile results.

Like, who wouldn't be intrigued if they took An American Werewolf in London Steel Magnolias and had Steve Soderbergh direct it? I'D sure as hell stand in line for something like that. Ditto if they fused The Godfather Alien Bring It On and Steven Spielberg directed it - why the hell not? It'd be way better than most of the suck-*** **** coming out of Hollywood these days...

Any other suggestions?

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FernandoDANTE writes:
on Jan 24 2008 08:49 PM

I guess a very generous 10% Tomatometer for Meet The Spartans!

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eksef writes:
on Jan 24 2008 09:03 PM

Meet the Spartans looks so funny :) They show spiderman, and then donald trump shows up and says "ya fired!" like his show, lol that's so funny.

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arendr writes:
on Jan 24 2008 09:18 PM

Btw, is that Azemat in the Meet the Spartans picture? How can one fall so far from having his balls on Sacha Baron Cohen's talented face?

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The_Duckling writes:
on Jan 24 2008 09:25 PM

Meet The Spartans=5%, box office gross=150 Mil. Total

The Air I Breath is at 13%!!! It actually looked good, so I was wondering why it came out in January...

And I agree with AudioNinja, if I was to ever see a movie that has come out this year (or will come out until March), I would see Cloverfield one time for every movie that came out. Seriously, I thought it was pretty good, and if it's a choice between Cloverfield and One Missed Call or that Paris Hilton movie? It's a tough choice, but...

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theginsengtree writes:
on Jan 24 2008 09:29 PM

If there is any justice in the world Meet the Spartans will get a 0%

Epic Movie was by far the worst movie I've ever seen or even heard of.
What's with Untraceable having the same "internet-serial killer" plot that's been recycled through every hour-long TV crime drama on CBS?

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lamer writes:
on Jan 24 2008 09:55 PM

Meet the Spartans- 8%

Because I have a feeling this is going to be like "In The Name of the King" in the Tomatometer scale.

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Folgers Instant Crack writes:
on Jan 24 2008 10:01 PM

I'd guess Spartans will get a 12%. Not that I think it'll be funny, just that there are a lot of idiots out there who will think so. Look how many stupid idiots think American Pie is funny.

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jtg185 writes:
on Jan 24 2008 10:29 PM

I really could care less what the reviews for Rambo are. Its a part of movie lore as well as my childhood, and I can't wait to see Sly kick some ***. I mean its Rambo what do these people expect an Oscar contender for best picture?

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jtg185 writes:
on Jan 24 2008 10:30 PM

I really could care less what the reviews for Rambo are. Its a part of movie lore as well as my childhood, and I can't wait to see Sly kick some butt. I mean its Rambo what do these people expect an Oscar contender for best picture?

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man in the water writes:
on Jan 24 2008 10:36 PM

Meet the Spartans T-meter: 2% If one critic finds it funny that will be something, the commercials don't make me laugh, except at its stupidity. 2% is being generous

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Poor_Frisco writes:
on Jan 24 2008 11:31 PM

meet the spartans - 8%

it looks awful

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smartmoviekid writes:
on Jan 24 2008 11:54 PM

0% all the way for meet the spartans. i'd rather let a friend vomit in my lap twice due to motion sickness from watching cloverfield. hell, at least im watching cloverfield again lol. Yes, y did azamat fall oh so hard and belly -floped into this massacre after the brillance that was Borat?

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PsychoMP writes:
on Jan 25 2008 12:07 AM

Meet the Spartans - 4%

Only about fourty people will review it, and ONE of them is going to fin it funny, somehow.

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Kaelen writes:
on Jan 25 2008 12:16 AM

This movie will get 33%

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Floor Man writes:
on Jan 25 2008 02:47 AM

Meet the Spartans - 6%

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Gimy writes:
on Jan 25 2008 05:07 AM

Meet the Spartans...-51%. its so bad more people ask for their money BACK than people who pay. i can't imagine the tards who will be in the theater for that. the first 5 seconds of the trailer i'm like, oooh yeah the 300 sequel(wait, already??) then i realized it was a spoof and tried very hard to see ANY punchlines in the preview. there were NONE. ANY person who says it looks funny should be put on the same deserted island we've reserved for Owe Boll. cuz their intelligence is beyond saving...

Rambo...ah rambo rambo rambo. i loved the older films in which he was a ripped guy who scares you(i was also like 10 at the time). this one he looks like Rosie Odonnell's lesbian life partner. his face just looks so off in this. i know at his age he needed extra "help" to achieve his muscles but he just looks so odd, like he's Joan Rivers' daughter. i don't know if i can see an action film with him lookin' like that, cept maybe if its called Rambolina...

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kdbarrett writes:
on Jan 25 2008 05:29 AM

I'll give "Meet the Spartans" 4%.

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whiskeyriver writes:
on Jan 25 2008 05:32 AM

Ahh, entertainment for idiots. I'll say a overripe 3%, because there's always a reviewer or two that feels compelled (*cough* paid *cough) to give a decent review.

Who keeps producing these terrible movies (I can't bring myself to call them "films")?

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Tollens writes:
on Jan 25 2008 07:32 AM

Someone please stop funding these unfunny 'spoofs' if you can even call them that. Just because you copy a line from a movie doesn't mean you are satirizing anything. My hopes -2% and that no one watches this movie. My predictions? Tons of kids who no longer know what is funny will pay money for it and some unqualified critics will say "lighten up you know what your getting" and give it a thumbs up. What kind of critique is that? Gah! Some critics on used on RT should just be ignored.

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LowBalls writes:
on Jan 25 2008 08:00 AM

0% for Meet the Spartans.

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Grover141 writes:
on Jan 25 2008 08:09 AM

3% for Meet the Spartans.

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bluestar2000 writes:
on Jan 25 2008 08:15 AM

In reply to this comment (#1517790)
I imagine that this'll get a positive review from the same ****head critic that liked Daddy Day Camp.

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IanMattson writes:
on Jan 25 2008 08:39 AM

meet the spartans actually makes me angry

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HisNameIsFrank writes:
on Jan 25 2008 08:49 AM

Meet The Spartans-1%
It doesn't even deserve that,but there's always gotta be an idiot who thinks this kind of garbage is funny. This is the same type of person who laughs every time he farts.

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ilovetacobell writes:
on Jan 25 2008 08:56 AM

Meet the Spartans looks like a worst film of the year candidate. My guess is it will score a 0%.

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BladeofTheImmortal writes:
on Jan 25 2008 09:49 AM

I'm either going to see Rambo today or Walk Hard(haven't seen it yet) hopefully it is still out around me. Also if there is any justice in the world, Meet the Spartans reels all over the world will spontaneously combust(could've sworn that's how you spell it. before they are inserted into the projector.

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renodc writes:
on Jan 25 2008 09:56 AM

Rambo had no chance with the critics from the beginning. It's a pure action film from start to finish. Critics are too pretentious to actually enjoy something like Rambo.

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punktuate writes:
on Jan 25 2008 10:26 AM

3% Meet The Spartans maybe if they got all of the six writers from Scary Movie it would be funny but otherwise it sux balls

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bigbrother writes:
on Jan 25 2008 10:40 AM

How can a Rambo movie be "Too violent"? Isn't that kinda the point of Rambo? Serious guess for Spartans 8%.

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vitajex writes:
on Jan 25 2008 10:43 AM

If "Meet the Spartans" gets higher than 2% or makes more $10 million at the box office, I am going to shave my head, give away all of my worldly possessions and embark on a pilgrimage the rest of my life.

I believe Revelations refers to "Meet the Spartans", and I quote:

"And, ye, the great Sodom of the West (Ed: Hollywood), shall unleash upon the world a plague so foul, so rank and onerous, that the birds of the air and the beasts of the sea shall perish. All the peoples of the earth shall pull out their hair, gnash their teeth and scream to the heavens, 'Why, oh, why, O, Lord? What horrible and unspeakable sin have we committed against thee? Why must you torment us so with such an abomination?! Be merciful and only burn us in the pit of eternal fire.'..." Rev. 3:19

It then goes on to describe all of the horrible, ghastly things that the movie does to anyone who watches it. Of course, anyone who watches it deserves the unimaginable suffering that awaits them.

I also heard "Meet the Spartans" runs on a 24 hour loop on HBO... in HELL!!!

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knowingtoast85 writes:
on Jan 25 2008 11:00 AM

Critics seem to have a serious problem with how violent Rambo is. The theater I went to absolutely loved it.

If you want to see bullets dismembering people and nuclear-powered claymore destruction, this is the only movie to see.

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aconline writes:
on Jan 25 2008 11:42 AM

I can't turn my back on Stallone now, so, I will be there at Rambo. Meet the Spartans? I wouldn't be caught dead there. Guess: 2% Someone out there is still finding it funny, I am not sure who, but they need to go away and fast.

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SPfan79 writes:
on Jan 25 2008 12:01 PM

I'm not surprised in the least that there wasn't a critics screening for Meet The Spartans. I'll go with 2%. I'm just glad it's finally out so now it can bomb horribly and I won't have to see those damn TV spots or internet banners for it every 5 minutes.

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horrorfan25 writes:
on Jan 25 2008 01:28 PM

Well Meet the spartans I think will get at least 2%. O% is way off, I know about One missed call it got 0%, but someone always likes the parody movies. I have got to say and this isn't a j/k or LOL. But as much as a pain Date movie was and Epic movie was alright. Meet the spartans actually looks okay. But then again "you got served" mumble in Happy feet wrestling a human and the guy in Rambo putting on a bikini and bra in the trailer, and ads. Now that's ridiculous.

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duckmanx88 writes:
on Jan 25 2008 03:55 PM

Meet The Spartans: 6%
you have to include the crappy website critics that'll do anything for attention. such as give a crap movie a good rating

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kenporules writes:
on Jan 25 2008 11:19 PM

Is it wrong that I'm hoping it stays at 0? I get a kick out of inevitable "worst movies ever" lists.

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pulgasari writes:
on Jan 26 2008 01:10 PM

In reply to this comment (#1520676)
Well, you won't have to worry about that, because Meet the Spartans got [b]0%[/b].
I didn't even think that was [b]possible[/b] before I saw the tomatometer.
Just about the only bit of amusement I can wring from Meet the Spartans comes from this: The people who thought Transformers sucked would probably go see Meet the Spartans to see their object of ire given the "parody" treatment. After leaving the theater, they'd say to one another, "You know, maybe Transformers wasn't that bad..."

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jeanpaul writes:
on Jan 29 2008 02:23 AM

ALL CRITICS ARE 100% IDIOTS. And that is now established in the Box-office.

I just came back, after seeing "JOHN RAMBO", expecting it to be a bogus movie, after reading all the criticism of all these ultra-stupid, arrogant, only-coen-movie-loving IDIOT critics...

And I had a SUPERB TIME with watching JOHN RAMBO!!!

It's a no-hold-bars, hardcore action movie, which shows the anguished character of JOHN RAMBO at maybe the 2nd best movie in the RAMBO series ("First Blood" being forever the BEST, mainly because of it's social commentary...)
The movie is voilent (not fit for children at all), showing what really happens when a person is shot (not bieng "cartoonish" like in tarantino movies, which glorify voilence: for many, I hope, it will teach a lesson of how awful, ugly and nightmarish weapons really are-- especially in the hands of horrible people...)--- and I feel that at times the voilence is a bit excessive in the film.

But that said, JOHN RAMBO is engaging from beginning to end.
It's a loyal movie to the Character of JOHN--- and I do believe that in this movie (JOHN RAMBO)--- the character has been portaryed more strong and resolved than ever. Stallone did a great job with RAMBO--- and he did it at 65. THUMBS WAY UP, Stallone!!

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jeanpaul writes:
on Jan 29 2008 02:37 AM

ALSO, I reccomend for Rambo fans to stay and see JOHN RAMBO even as the end credits roll.

It has got a very beautifull, and very TOUCHING ending...
(I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen the movie yet...)
Yes, Ol' pal, Rambo. Come home and rest.
The Character of Rambo has certainly earned this.

At least for me personally, watching him walking on that path (on which he keeps walking on, by the way, as the end credits roll) certainly feels like a wonderful and deserved closure for this anguished soldier the country owes so much to...

Don't read the IDIOT critics's stupid and arrogant criticism.
These idiot critics were and are all over themselves over "No country for old men"--- while audience are voting with thier legs with that too talkative, lenghty, hateful and BORING movie (now the boastful, detached Academy is also all over that too-talkative and boring movie...)

Critics wouldn't know a good film if it hit them upside down on thier arrogant, foriegn-movie loving heads.

JOHN RAMBO. Welcome home, good friend.

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