This week at the movies, we've got vigilante justice (Rambo, starring Sylvester Stallone), internet intrigue (Untraceable, starring Diane Lane), deft dancing (How She Move, starring Rutina Wesley), and Spartan satires (Meet the Spartans, starring Diedrich Bader). What do the critics have to say?

Rambo is back.... but is he better than ever? The critics say he's about the same -- which is a good thing if you dug Rambo III, but not if you expected another First Blood (or Rocky Balboa, which resurrected another iconic Sylvester Stallone character -- and Sly's career in the process). Rambo finds our hero chillin' in Thailand, enjoying his peaceful existence -- until the disappearance of some aid workers draws him into conflict with the government of Myanmar. Pundits say Stallone (who also directs) stages some involving action sequences, but overall, Rambo is unevenly paced, way too violent, and strangely impersonal. At 25 percent on the Tomatometer, Rambo isn't cinema-goers' worst nightmare, nor is it a dream come true. In fact, it's the worst reviewed film in the series. (Check out our latest Total Recall, in which RT takes a closer look at the Rambo franchise.)

Rambo stealing a rebel's iPhone, much to his agony.

Ah, the Internet. It's a place for finding information, shopping for books, meeting a potential date.... and, if you're a serial killer, playing cat-and-mouse with the FBI. Such is the plot of Untraceable, starring Diane Lane as a cyber-agent tasked with tracking down a killer who slays with greater frequency when, after posting videos of his brutal deeds, his web traffic increases. Critics say Untraceable has its moments, but it lacks the will to make any points about our disconnected, voyeuristic society, and instead goes for cheap, grisly shocks. At 17 percent on the Tomatometer, Untraceable may be where you draw the line.

"What should I Netflix tonight? Boring ol' Zodiac or the Oscar-nominated Norbit?"

Oh, wow, another coming-of-age tale of a troubled girl who finds herself through the power of dance. Been there, done that, right? Not so fast. Critics say the low-budget How She Move is deeper and more energetic than others of its ilk. Move tells the story of a young woman grieving the death of her older sister who enters a step dancing competition to earn money for private school tuition -- and a way out of her grim surroundings. The story may be as old as the hills, but pundits say How She Move is elevated by a commanding debut performance by Rutina Wesley, as well as some excellent choreography and a sense of urgency. At 69 percent on the Tomatometer, this one has some pretty good Moves.

Why car ejector seats aren't standard.

It appears the critics will have to wait to Meet the Spartans, since it wasn't screened prior to release. Spartans crosses 300 with You Got Served, and also takes shots at Britney Spears. Hilarity (allegedly) ensues. Kids, it's time to stop dining in hell for a minute so you can guess that Tomatometer.

"And this is my guess for Meet the Spartans' Tomatometer."

Also opening this week in limited release:

• U2 3D, featuring Bono and the gang in concert, and in three dimensions, is Certified Fresh at 98 percent on the Tomatometer.

• The Palme d'Or-winning 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days, the story of a woman's attempt to get an abortion in Communist Romania, is at 95 percent.

• The documentary Orthodox Stance, about the Russian Jewish pugilist Dmitriy Salita, is at 80 percent.

• The Brazilian import Alice's House, about the trials and tribulations of a Sao Paulo family, is at 60 percent.

• Trailer Park Boys: The Movie, based on the cult Canadian comedy show, is at 57 percent.

• Lost in Beijing, a tale of complex love in modern China, is at 57 percent.

• And The Air I Breathe, a dark story based upon a Chinese proverb starring Forest Whitaker, Andy Garcia, Kevin Bacon, and Sarah Michelle Gellar, is at 13 percent.

  
  "I made this movie in hopes of paving the way for Zamfir 3D."

 

Recent Sylvester Stallone Movies:
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75% -- Rocky Balboa (2006)
71% -- Shade (2004)
45% -- Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (2003)
13% -- Eye See You (2002)
13% -- Avenging Angelo (2002)