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No Such Thing (2002)
Tomatometer
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Reviews Counted:42
Fresh:12
Rotten:30
Average Rating:5/10
Runtime: 1 hr 43 mins
Genre: Dramas
Synopsis: Everyone says there's no such thing as a monster. What if they were wrong? Renowned director Hal Hartley poses that question in United Artists Films / American Zoetrope's production of No Such... Everyone says there's no such thing as a monster. What if they were wrong? Renowned director Hal Hartley poses that question in United Artists Films / American Zoetrope's production of No Such Thing, a modern fairy tale about a kind, sensitive beauty and her horrific, tortured beast. In the frigid, mountainous, northernmost edge of the world lives a Monster (Robert John Burke). Hard-drinking, foul-mouthed and extremely bad tempered, he doesn't know exactly when he came into existence, but it was long before the dawn of man, whom he holds in great contempt. The ceaseless noise of humanity and the ever-increasing barrage of media signals fill his head as though he were a satellite dish, causing unbearable agony that only booze and occasional slaughter can relieve. Unfortunately, as far as he can tell, he'll live in misery forever - nothing can kill him. Far away in New York City where crime, terrorism and senseless violence abound lives Beatrice (Sarah Polley). A young, sensible girl, Beatrice works in a low level job at a sensationalist TV news show where the world's catastrophes mean high ratings and bad news is good news. The "Boss" (Helen Mirren) constantly rails at her staff to find - or create - even worse news. Civilization's chaos reigns supreme. When Beatrice's boyfriend and his crew goes missing while on assignment to find the fabled Monster for a news story, Beatrice goes to look for him and comes face to face with the Monster herself. He's murdered her boyfriend and his crew, and will most likely do the same to her, but instead of setting her on fire or tearing her in two, she and the monster forge a tentative, cautious friendship. When the Monster confesses that there's only one chance for an end to his constant torment, Beatrice and he return to civilization to seek out modern-day mad scientist Dr. Artaud, the only man with the secret to ending the Monster's life. As the pair weathers the storm of publicity created by the Monster's arrival in New York, the media frenzy and ensuing fame threatens to throw Beatrice off course, leaving the Monster stranded and persecuted by government testing and endless talk show conjecture and questioning. When Beatrice comes to her senses and struggles to do what she set out to do, she's then forced to answer the hardest question of all: What if there were no monsters to believe in? From acclaimed writer/director Hal Hartley (The Unbelievable Truth), United Artists Films presents an American Zoetrope production (in association with The Icelandic Film Corporation and True Fiction Pictures) of NO SUCH THING, the offbeat, moving story of a cranky monster and the good-hearted girl who changes his life. Starring Sarah Polley (Go, The Sweet Hereafter), Robert John Burke (From the Earth to the Moon), Helen Mirren (Prime Suspect, The Madness of King George), and Julie Christie (Afterglow, Shampoo), the film was produced by Fridrik Thór Fridriksson, Hartley, and Cecilia Kate Roque, with executive producers Francis Ford Coppola, Linda Reisman and Willi Baer. The esteemed production team includes director of photography Michael Spiller (The House of Yes), production designer Árni Páll Jóhannsson (Children of Nature), editor Steve Hamilton (Trance), the music of Hal Hartley, and costume designer Helga I. Stefánsdóttir. -- © 2001 MGM/UA [More]
Starring: Robert John Burke, Sarah Polley, Helen Mirren, Julie Christie
Starring: Robert John Burke, Sarah Polley, Helen Mirren, Julie Christie, Erica Gimpel, Baltasar Kormákur
Director: Hal Hartley
Director: Hal Hartley
Screenwriter: Hal Hartley
Producer: Fridrik Thor Fridriksson, Hal Hartley, Cecilia Kate Roque
Composer: Hal Hartley
Studio: MGM/UA
Reviews for No Such Thing
It's a film with an idea buried somewhere inside its fabric, but never clearly seen or felt.
On a cutting room floor somewhere lies...footage that might have made No Such Thing a trenchant, ironic cultural satire instead of a frustrating misfire.
An off-beat and fanciful film about the human need for monsters to blame for all that is amiss in the world.
No Such Thing breaks no new ground and treads old turf like a hippopotamus ballerina.
A stirring, funny and finally transporting re-imagining of Beauty and the Beast and 1930s horror films
The Christ allegory doesn't work because there is no foundation for it
Little more than a stylish exercise in revisionism whose point ... is no doubt true, but serves as a rather thin moral to such a knowing fable.
Much as I value independence in art, it's possible for a filmmaker to crawl so far onto his own wavelength that he loses touch with everything else.
Too intensely focused on the travails of being Hal Hartley to function as pastiche, No Such Thing is Hartley's least accessible screed yet.
By the end of No Such Thing the audience, like Beatrice, has a watchful affection for the monster.
The way in which Hartley has conceived and then executed the story will leave most viewers feeling nothing but confusion, boredom and anger for wasting their time on cinematic drivel such as this.
The whole is quite entertaining, but despite its virtues, there is an unsettled feeling to the film.
Like the world of his film, Hartley created a monster but didn’t know how to handle it.
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