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Movies / On DVD / The Pacifier
The Pacifier

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The Pacifier (2005)

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Reviews Counted:126

Fresh:26

Rotten:100

Average Rating:3.7/10

Consensus: Vin Diesel parodies his tough guy image for the family audience, but the result is only moderately amusing.

Runtime: 1 hr 36 mins

Genre: Childrens

Synopsis: Vin Diesel is great as a navy seal turned babysitter in this kid-friendly action comedy. A botched rescue mission (brimming with stunts) results in the death of a scientist and the hospitalization... Vin Diesel is great as a navy seal turned babysitter in this kid-friendly action comedy. A botched rescue mission (brimming with stunts) results in the death of a scientist and the hospitalization of seal team-leader Shane Wolf (Diesel). Once he recovers, he is assigned to duty as a bodyguard for the dead man's family. But even for a seal--toughened to the point of stoniness--dealing with the chaos, smells, noises, and complexities of a large, fatherless family proves to be a heavy challenge. The kids don't like his authoritative ways and they have no problem defying him at every turn. Eventually everybody bonds and while the family teaches him to listen and relax, he teaches them the combat skills they need to succeed in suburban Los Angeles. It's all very funny but the film really works best as a showcase for the range of Diesel; he takes his pratfalls in stride, his character's devotion to military discipline and honor is inspiring; and his bonding with the family is sweet without being saccharine. What's more, he still gets the chance to kick some serious bad-guy butt. Lauren Graham (BAD SANTA) plays the kindly grade school principal and love interest. EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND's Brad Garrett is hilarious as a sadistic wrestling coach. There's also a crotch-biting pet duck, ninjas, sewer-diving, a troop of kung fu-fighting girl scouts, and the hilarious "Panda Dance." [More]

Starring: Vin Diesel, Lauren Graham, Faith Ford, Carol Kane

Starring: Vin Diesel, Lauren Graham, Faith Ford, Carol Kane, Brad Garrett, Morgan York, Max Thierot, Brittany Snow

Director: Adam Shankman

Director: Adam Shankman
Screenwriter: Thomas Lennon, Robert Ben Garant
Producer: Robert Birnbaum, Gary Barber, Jonathan Glickman, Jennifer Gibgot
Studio: Buena Vista Pictures

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Reviews for The Pacifier

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81 - 100 (sorted by date; UK critics are listed first)
Text View | |< << 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 >> >|
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The Pacifier provides passable, albeit predictable, family fare sure to please the kids without forcing their adult counterparts to whine like babies.

Full Review Source: E! Online | comment Comment
03/04/05
E! Online

Vin Diesel is baby food in The Pacifier. He's strained peas, pureed plums and all manner of pabulum. So all older than 5 beware: This is a movie you'll likely want to spit up.

Full Review Source: Detroit News | comment Comment
03/04/05
Tom Long
Tom Long
Detroit News

The Pacifier falls into the same category as Are We There Yet? which gave Ice Cube a similar baby-sitting gig with equally dreadful results.

Full Review Source: Detroit Free Press | comment Comment
03/04/05
John Monaghan
John Monaghan
Detroit Free Press

Essentially the same move Schwarzenegger made with his supposedly family-friendly comedy Kindergarten Cop, only The Pacifier is even dumber and considerably more crass.

Full Review Source: Deseret News, Salt Lake City | comment Comment
03/04/05
Jeff Vice
Jeff Vice
Deseret News, Salt Lake City

The Pacifier represents a form of cruel, but actually very usual, punishment for anyone past the age of 7.

Full Review Source: Denver Rocky Mountain News | comment Comment
03/04/05
Robert Denerstein
Robert Denerstein
Denver Rocky Mountain News

The Pacifier is one of those movies that jams together two ideas that in the end don't work.

Full Review Source: Denver Post | comment Comment
03/04/05
Lisa Kennedy
Lisa Kennedy
Denver Post

Without doubt the worst film of the year so far, The Pacifier is actually painful to watch.

Full Review Source: CNN.com | comment Comment
03/04/05
Paul Clinton (CNN.com)
Paul Clinton (CNN.com)
CNN.com
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

This premise is promising, but somehow the movie never really takes off.

Full Review Source: Chicago Sun-Times | comment Comment
03/04/05
Roger Ebert
Roger Ebert
Chicago Sun-Times
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

The movie plays like it was cobbled together from sheetrock and carpet tacks, this makes The Pacifier just worth your children's time, and hardly worth yours.

Full Review Source: Boston Globe | comment Comment
03/04/05
Ty Burr
Ty Burr
Boston Globe

Pacifiers are made to appease toddlers, but for the movie version, even that may be a stretch.

Full Review Source: Arizona Republic | comment Comment
03/04/05
Bill Muller
Bill Muller
Arizona Republic

Diesel's stern, stubbly demeanor and leaden performance make [Tommy Lee] Jones look like Jim Carrey.

Full Review Source: Salt Lake Tribune | comment Comment
03/04/05
Sean Means
Sean Means
Salt Lake Tribune

Even the most basic sit-com slapstick needs a story!

Full Review Source: Modamag.com | comment Comment
03/04/05
Susan Granger
Susan Granger
Modamag.com

This cross between Kindergarten Cop and Uncle Buck is neither as bad nor as inventive as it could have been. It's not a 180 for Diesel, but more like a 120.

Full Review Source: State Journal-Register (Springfield, IL) | comment Comment
03/04/05
Nick Rogers
Nick Rogers
State Journal-Register (Springfield, IL)

The tinny dialogue of the clumsy screenplay stumbles over the simplest moments of exposition and revelation and Adam Shankman's anonymous direction is plodding at best...

Full Review Source: Seattle Post-Intelligencer | comment Comment
03/04/05
Sean Axmaker
Sean Axmaker
Seattle Post-Intelligencer

As stinky as the diapers star Vin Diesel constantly keeps sticking his hands in.

Full Review Source: Sympatico.ca | comment Comment
03/04/05
Angela Baldassarre
Angela Baldassarre
Sympatico.ca

The kind of movie that makes diaper duty look like an appealing alternative.

Full Review Source: Fort Worth Star-Telegram | comment Comment
03/04/05
Scott Von Doviak
Scott Von Doviak
Fort Worth Star-Telegram

Diesel isn't a terrible actor, but his choice of projects is about as apt as his choice of stage names. What, were Mack O'Kerosene and Buck Unleaded already taken?

Full Review Source: Richmond.com | comment Comment
03/04/05
Mike Ward
Mike Ward
Richmond.com

[B]rought me... to a low during which I was actually calculating the precise moment in which [this] crossed the line into categorical awfulness...

Full Review Source: Flick Filosopher | comment Comment
03/04/05
MaryAnn Johanson
MaryAnn Johanson
Flick Filosopher

resolutely sunny and smiley-faced... Next to this, 'The Brady Bunch' looks like 'Long Day's Journey into Night.'

Full Review Source: Kalamazoo Gazette | comment Comment
03/04/05
James Sanford
James Sanford
Kalamazoo Gazette

Recycled material through and through, and what it offers in the affability of its star is countered with a mean streak of humiliation passed off as humor.

Full Review Source: Window to the Movies | comment Comment
03/03/05
Jeffrey Chen
Jeffrey Chen
Window to the Movies
 
 
81 - 100 (sorted by date; UK critics are listed first)
Text View | |< << 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 >> >|
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