Critical Consensus: "King" And "Queen" Are Movie Royalty; "Labyrinth" Worth Exploring; "Hitcher" Not Screened
This week lighting up your local theaters, we have a little girl lost somewhere between reality and fantasy ("Pan's Labyrinth," starring Ivana Baquero), the royal lady herself ("The Queen," starring Helen Mirren), a charming and murderous dictator ("The Last King of Scotland," with Forest Whitaker), and a hitchhiker with a sinister destination in mind ("The Hitcher," starring Sean Bean and Sophia Bush). What are the critics saying?
"Pan's Labyrinth" is "Alice in Wonderland" for grown-ups, with the horrors of both reality and fantasy blended together into an extraordinary, spellbinding fable. Told through the eyes of a little girl whose imaginary world is inhabited by nightmarish creatures, "Pan's Labyrinth" is a visually imaginative and timeless, allegorical take on the fears we all face. At 97 percent, this is one "Labyrinth" to lose yourself in.

It is a little-known fact that the stink bomb originated in Franco-era Spain.
Full of wit, humor, and pathos, Stephen Frears's "The Queen" is a moving portrait of the British royals during the period after Princess Diana's death features not one but two remarkable performances, that of Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth II and Michael Sheen as the newly-ordained Prime Minister Tony Blair. They embody their characters and lay bare the motivations behind these prominent people, giving viewers a glimpse into the inner workings of the British monarchy. With 98 percent on the Tomatometer, critics are hailing "long live 'The Queen.'"

Her Majesty ponders over the message of today's Family Circus.
For people who didn't know anything about "The Last King of Scotland" beforehand, the movie could've been about anything (Royalty? Death? The country where The Jesus and Mary Chain come from?) Now, thanks to unremitting awards buzz and Forest Whitaker's esteemed performance, everybody knows it's actually a blunt and brutal political thriller. Whitaker recently picked up the Golden Globe for his role as real-life megalomaniac dictator Idi Amin. At 90 percent on the Tomatometer, critics are also exclaiming "long live the 'King.'" We can picture imaginative theater owners doing a double feature with this and "The Queen" for the weekend.

Mulder and Scully find themselves yet again among the throes of the paranormal.
Like good parents, horror flicks are always reminding us what not to do (never skinny dip at night, never go upstairs, and, for the love of Pete, never assume it's your friend that's playing the practical joke). "The Hitcher" is no different. It stars Sean Bean as a rather surly hitchhiker who terrorizes some hapless teenagers, driving home the movie's central moral: never pick up strangers. "The Hitcher" is this week's single new wide release. And, guess what -- it's not being screened for critics. You know the drill: guess that Tomatometer.

"One does not simply hitchhike into Mordor."
Also opening this week in limited release: "Alone With Her," a teenage stalker drama, is at 56 percent; "The Italian," the drama of a boy trying to find his mother, is at 93 percent; "The GoodTimesKid," a comedy reportedly recorded on stolen film, is at 60 percent; and "Mafioso," an obscure 1962 flick playing again in America 45 years later, is at 91 percent.

"Alone With Her": Colin Hanks as society's most non-threatening stalker ever.
Recent Horror Remakes:
----------------------------------
48% -- The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
18% -- Black Christmas (2006)
10% -- When A Stranger Calls (2006)
27% -- The Omen (2006)
13% -- The Wicker Man (2006)
Guillermo Del Toro-Directed Movies:
----------------------------------
79% -- Hellboy (2004)
44% -- Blade II (2006)
91% -- The Devil's Backbone (2006)
54% -- Mimic (2006)
84% -- Cronos (2006)
"Pan's Labyrinth" is "Alice in Wonderland" for grown-ups, with the horrors of both reality and fantasy blended together into an extraordinary, spellbinding fable. Told through the eyes of a little girl whose imaginary world is inhabited by nightmarish creatures, "Pan's Labyrinth" is a visually imaginative and timeless, allegorical take on the fears we all face. At 97 percent, this is one "Labyrinth" to lose yourself in.

It is a little-known fact that the stink bomb originated in Franco-era Spain.
Full of wit, humor, and pathos, Stephen Frears's "The Queen" is a moving portrait of the British royals during the period after Princess Diana's death features not one but two remarkable performances, that of Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth II and Michael Sheen as the newly-ordained Prime Minister Tony Blair. They embody their characters and lay bare the motivations behind these prominent people, giving viewers a glimpse into the inner workings of the British monarchy. With 98 percent on the Tomatometer, critics are hailing "long live 'The Queen.'"

Her Majesty ponders over the message of today's Family Circus.
For people who didn't know anything about "The Last King of Scotland" beforehand, the movie could've been about anything (Royalty? Death? The country where The Jesus and Mary Chain come from?) Now, thanks to unremitting awards buzz and Forest Whitaker's esteemed performance, everybody knows it's actually a blunt and brutal political thriller. Whitaker recently picked up the Golden Globe for his role as real-life megalomaniac dictator Idi Amin. At 90 percent on the Tomatometer, critics are also exclaiming "long live the 'King.'" We can picture imaginative theater owners doing a double feature with this and "The Queen" for the weekend.

Mulder and Scully find themselves yet again among the throes of the paranormal.
Like good parents, horror flicks are always reminding us what not to do (never skinny dip at night, never go upstairs, and, for the love of Pete, never assume it's your friend that's playing the practical joke). "The Hitcher" is no different. It stars Sean Bean as a rather surly hitchhiker who terrorizes some hapless teenagers, driving home the movie's central moral: never pick up strangers. "The Hitcher" is this week's single new wide release. And, guess what -- it's not being screened for critics. You know the drill: guess that Tomatometer.

"One does not simply hitchhike into Mordor."
Also opening this week in limited release: "Alone With Her," a teenage stalker drama, is at 56 percent; "The Italian," the drama of a boy trying to find his mother, is at 93 percent; "The GoodTimesKid," a comedy reportedly recorded on stolen film, is at 60 percent; and "Mafioso," an obscure 1962 flick playing again in America 45 years later, is at 91 percent.

"Alone With Her": Colin Hanks as society's most non-threatening stalker ever.
Recent Horror Remakes:
----------------------------------
48% -- The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
18% -- Black Christmas (2006)
10% -- When A Stranger Calls (2006)
27% -- The Omen (2006)
13% -- The Wicker Man (2006)
Guillermo Del Toro-Directed Movies:
----------------------------------
79% -- Hellboy (2004)
44% -- Blade II (2006)
91% -- The Devil's Backbone (2006)
54% -- Mimic (2006)
84% -- Cronos (2006)
Related Items
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on Jan 18 2007 07:10 PM [b]pan's labrynth was amazing[/b] just an awesome fantasy movie . . . and def worth more than just "exploring." (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 18 2007 07:13 PM In reply to this comment (#853398) yup....best movie of the year (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 18 2007 07:19 PM Where's my props for coming the closest to Primeval's t-meter. Anyway: Hitcher- 20% (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 18 2007 07:51 PM ill give hitcher 50% because Sofia bush is SO FUCKING HOT!!!!!!!!!! And the caption for The Hitcher is hillarious. (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 18 2007 07:52 PM I feel like I've been seeing The Queen playing in theatres for months now (even the big ones)! It's only getting it's wide release now? I know it was in the (American) top 10 one week! But I'm in Canada, so who knows... I'll have to check out Pan's Labyrinth, looks scary...I might wait for DVD though... Anyway, before Hitcher has any ratings, I'm gonna guess...ehhh 4%. It sounds like something critics will HATE. I've heard nothing about it, but this is a fun game!!) (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 18 2007 11:05 PM Pan's Labyrinth looks like it is worth $10 to see. The rest are possible DVD rentals, or not. 50% because Sofia Bush is in it? Your movie standards are pretty light there dagreenman. I'll give it 19%, it looks unintentionally funny throughout. (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 18 2007 11:19 PM The Hitcher - 23% (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 19 2007 12:35 AM Pan's Labyrinth was a masterpiece. Definitely the best foreign language film I've seen. By the way, "nightmarish creature" doesn't even begin to describe how scary that thing with the eyes in its hands is. (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 19 2007 03:43 AM the hitcher, maybe bean can save it but i think even mr. bean would have made a better choice for the bad guy. that said i guess it will get an almighty 26% making it one of the best horror films of the last couple of years, sadly. (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 19 2007 07:17 AM the hitcher = 9 percent, bean is an okay actor but he can't save what will surely be a clunker of a movie..at least its rated R, unlike most of the tripe/trite 'horror' films that have come out in the past few years (and has anyone seen the trailers for the movie 'the (Reply to this) |
![]() on Jan 19 2007 07:32 AM 'The Hitcher' will get 11% and like it. ==TJ== (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 19 2007 08:33 AM In reply to this comment (#853405) [b]hell yeah[/b] easily one of the best creatures I've seen in a while. And calling it a masterpiece is very fitting. I really hope this movie does well in the box office, it deserves it. (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 19 2007 11:49 AM already got tickets for Pan's Lab! CANT WAIT!!!! (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 19 2007 01:35 PM Well The Queen finally came to my city so I'll see it this weekend, I wished Pan's Labyrinth and The Last King of Scotland had, mabey adventually they will. Hitcher-27%. (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 19 2007 02:53 PM [b]Sorry, but Pan's Lab is just too overhyped.[/b] I'm sorry, I hate to be the downer here, but, 'Pan's' is just not THAT good. It's good, don't get me wrong. But a masterpiece, it is not. They're promoting this film all wrong and it's going to disappoint alot of people, myself included. It's NOT a fanatsy film. It's like 25% fantasy and the rest is a really dark, war drama. Everybody and their mother has been hyping this thing beyond belief since Cannes like the second coming of Christ. I couldn't wait to see it. Bummed and disappointed to no end. Really. Somebody had to say it. (Reply to this) |
![]() on Jan 19 2007 04:54 PM In reply to this comment (#853400) Apologies, dreday. With Tim Ryan at Sundance this week, the beleaguered remaining RT staffers helmed the Critical Consensus and neglected to check last week's 'guess the tomatometer'. Consider yourself duly propped. (Reply to this) |
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on Jan 20 2007 05:41 PM yeah like what others have siad Pan's Lab sucked!!!!! it was very lil fantasy, most of it was a dumb war melodrama. And talk about writing stupid characters, well i can go into details but i wont spoil the crappiness for people who still want to see it. All I have to say is just as the captain feel duped and fooled in the end so does the audience! TALK ABOUT FALSE ADVERTISING! Now I feel really dispaointed maybe I should go rent a real fantasy movie like the real Labriynth movie staring Jennifer connelly and David Bowie! (Reply to this) |
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