There are plenty of reasons why anyone might wish for the early retirement of the world's proudest bad filmmaker. ("Bad" being an objective term as judged by the esteemed Tomatometer, where Boll has a career average of four percent.) After suffering the derision of his harshest critics for films like Alone in the Dark and BloodRayne, the amateur pugilist challenged five scribes to a boxing match (and won each bout) back in 2006. But perhaps there were better ways for conscientious film lovers to battle the forces of the Raging Boll...
In an April interview with genre website FEARnet, Boll acknowledged an online poll calling for him to quit filmmaking altogether. "How many signatures would it take," FEARnet asked. Boll's answer: "One million. Now we have a new goal." As of today, the Stop Dr. Uwe Boll petition has garnered over 180,000 signatures.
With his detractors more than one-tenth of the way to his retirement, Boll posted a follow-up response. "So hi, here's Uwe Boll, and I have a statement to make about that Internet petition," he begins. "I want...a pro-Boll petition and I expect a million votes pro-Boll. Because look -- I'm not a f***ing retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business. Or Eli Roth, making the same sh**ty movies over and over again. If you really look at my movies you will see my real genius."
Boll makes sure to add a shout out to his forthcoming political satire, Postal. "If you go on May 23 to Postal you will see that I deliver a movie what nobody else deliver in the last ten years. What is way better [than] all that social critic George Clooney bullshit what you get every f***ing weekend. You have to really wake up and see me for what I am -- I'm the only genius in the whole f***ing business. Goodbye. "
To refresh your memory, we present Dr. Uwe Boll's career in Tomatometers:
Blackwoods: 11% |
House of the Dead: 4% |
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale: 2% |
Alone in the Dark: 1% |
BloodRayne: 4% |
Postal: 25% (unofficial) |
Now that you've done your homework, pick a side. Will it be Stop Dr. Uwe Boll or Long Live Uwe Boll?
Related Items
| Movie: | Blackwoods |
| House of the Dead | |
| Alone in the Dark | |
| BloodRayne | |
| In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale | |
| Celeb: | Uwe Boll |
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Utopian Evolution writes: on Apr 11 2008 06:46 PM This has made my year -- I believe this will go down in history as the funniest and yet the saddest words ever to come out of another human being. I applaud you Uwe Boll for brightening up my night and hopefully brightening up the world with the ignorance -- come on... out of all the directors he could talk about, he spits out Eli Roth and Michael Bay? As in the forgettable words (that I have yet to forget) said by Keanu Reeves in almost all his movies, Wow..... But in all the seriousness that I can muster from this, do we really want Dr. Boll to retire? I mean, who else could amuse us film geeks as much as him? Besides... I use him as a look what I can do, I mean, if this guy still has a job in the business, it should be a piece of cake for anyone! Maybe not... but still. Alright I'm done. (Reply to this) |
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theginsengtree writes: on Apr 11 2008 06:51 PM OMFG as if I didn't have enough reasons to hate this mutha... (Reply to this) |
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IBelieveInHarveyDent writes: on Apr 11 2008 06:54 PM this is the funniest freakin thing i have seen in quite a while. anyone know where i can find this petition?? (Reply to this) |
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Young Turk writes: on Apr 11 2008 07:12 PM I'll fight him, only condition is after I win he stops making movies, FOREVER. (Reply to this) |
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thereign writes: on Apr 11 2008 07:18 PM I just signed up to STOP UWE, and I'm about to e-mail every last human being I know to sign that damned thing! (Reply to this) |
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reyes writes: on Apr 11 2008 07:18 PM I'll Not sign! He can keep making movies from terrible games. ill still see them. I gotta see postal next....i must! (Reply to this) |
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Matanuki writes: on Apr 11 2008 07:23 PM I wish that clown would challenge me to a fight. That would be the end of Uwe Boll pictures, folks. (Reply to this) |
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BReeG writes: on Apr 11 2008 07:30 PM This either a brilliant piece of performance art or a truly, mindbogglingly astronomical level of hubris. Either way, I love it. (Reply to this) |
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Pilgermann writes: on Apr 11 2008 07:32 PM !!!!!!!! As terrible a filmmaker as he is, I don't really want to see him stop making films. It's not like they're big moneymakers. I'd sign a Larry the Cable Guy retirement petition in a heartbeat, though. (Reply to this) |
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Odo19 writes: on Apr 11 2008 07:49 PM I'll never sign. His movies are just to hilarious. Way funnier than Apatow. (Reply to this) |
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aka_nympho writes: on Apr 11 2008 08:06 PM At least he's articulate and intelligent enough to express his thoughts without cursing the entire video. (Reply to this) |
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reavus4983 writes: on Apr 11 2008 08:34 PM I can't explain how awesome I just suddenly began to think Uwe Boll is after watching him just then. I am most definitely buying In the Name of the King on DVD now... as if I wasn't already. I love fantasy/comedies. (Reply to this) |
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Linshaill writes: on Apr 11 2008 08:52 PM Why there are so many actors and actress on TALLHUB.c om. I can not bear see those bad photoes!!! (Reply to this) |
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Linshaill writes: on Apr 11 2008 08:52 PM Why there are so many actors and actress on TALLHUB.c ' o'm. I can not bear see those bad photoes!!! (Reply to this) |
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Floor Man writes: on Apr 11 2008 09:54 PM Just signed against him. (Reply to this) |
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BrianInSD writes: on Apr 11 2008 10:01 PM Long live Uwe Boll! Anyone capable of inspiring such venom can't be all bad. (Reply to this) |
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man in the water writes: on Apr 11 2008 10:39 PM GENIUS!!!??? In what dimension? I will give him this, he makes me laugh my a** off every time I read his comments or look at his latest movie sget 0-1% on the T-meter. But his movies should be banned forever. I'm about to sign the petition. Though his movies and T-meter make me laugh, he made Kristianna Loken looks unsexy in what should have been a very sexy scene. That was he worst filmed sex scene in HISTORY. So sorry Dr. Boll I want your lab destroyed forever. And by the way, your no f***ing genius your a ****ing dumba**, I mean look at how you film and frame your movies!!!! I'm just shocked this demented "genius" hasn't won a Razzie or even been nominated. (Reply to this) |
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man in the water writes: on Apr 11 2008 10:53 PM Whoops sorry. Just checked IMDB and he has of course been Razzie-Nominated for Worst Director for Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne but how he didn't win is beyond me. Again somehow making Kristianna Loken unsexy should have easily won him the Raspberry (Reply to this) |
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sunsaz writes: on Apr 11 2008 11:32 PM Is this argument REALLY necessary? If people really want to send a message to the production companies, then they should simply stop seeing his films. I don't care about the horror film cliques or the video-game film nerds. A bad film is a bad film and should be treated as such. It saddens and scares me to see how much common logic has disappeared from our society. (Reply to this) |
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blsinner writes: on Apr 12 2008 12:10 AM I agree with his statements on Micheal Bay and Eli Roth, but compared to him they're ****ing Alfred Hitchcock and Steven Spielberg. Down with this ****ing prick. (Reply to this) |
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