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Critical Consensus: "SOAP," "Material Girls" Not Screened; "Accepted" Denied; "Sunshine" Shines
by Tim Ryan | August 17, 2006
Blog Article | Discuss Article
This week at the movies, we've got snakes.... on a plane ("Snakes on a Plane," starring Samuel L. Jackson), slackers on a campus ("Accepted," starring Justin Long), and Duffs on the screen ("Material Girls," starring Hilary and Haylie Duff). What do the critics have to say?

"Snakes on a Plane," the movie with the greatest title since "Dude, Where's My Car?", has captured the imagination of the blogosphere. However, it will have to wait to capture the imagination of the critics, since it wasn't screened in advance. The plot involves an FBI agent (Samuel L. Jackson) who, golly, would really like to expel those ophidians from the aircraft upon which he's traveling. Since "SOAP" (as the fanboys and girls call it) has no reviews, we're going to play our favorite game: Guess the @#&$*$ Tomatometer.


Contrary to the wishes of Samuel L. Jackson, these guys are putting the snakes on the @#&$*$ plane.

There's something inherently appealing about a bunch of party-hearty students and their battles with the uptight squares; that's why movie people keep trying to recapture the magic of "Animal House" and "Rock 'n' Roll High School." "Accepted" tells the story of a high school graduate (Justin Long) who's having no luck getting into college, so he decides to start his own fake institute of higher learning. To his surprise, a bunch of like-minded outcasts join him. Critics say the movie has its share of laughs, but it never totally gels, and turns a little too sweet at the end. At 31 percent on the Tomatometer, "Accepted" has been waitlisted.


"Accepted": In culinary class, these guys are preparing an official South Harmon Institute of Technology sandwich.

Critics can beg, and critics can plead, but they can't see "Material Girls" (that's right!), 'cause the audience members with the cold hard cash are always Mr. (and Ms.) Right. Or, perhaps the people behind the latest Duff sisters vehicle feel the film is in the same artistic league as Madge's "Body of Evidence." Guess this Tomatometer while you're at it.


The Duff sisters flee in anguish after their unsuccessful auditions for "Hulk 2"

"Little Miss Sunshine" was a big hit at this year's Sundance Film Festival, and now that it's hitting the theaters, the scribes are just as enthusiastic as the folks in Park City. This tale of a dysfunctional family hitting the road for a child pageant is Certified Fresh, and features sharp performances from its ensemble cast, particularly Greg Kinnear and Steve Carell. At 94 percent, this one's a ray of "Sunshine." (Check out RT's interview with co-directors Valerie Faris and Jonathan Dayton here.)

Also in theaters in limited release this week: "Factotum," the Sundance-approved Bukowski adaptation starring Matt Dillon and Lili Taylor, is at 75 percent; "The Illusionist," a tale of intrigue in turn of the century Vienna starring Ed Norton, Jessica Biel, and Paul Giamatti, is at 67 percent; Dutch import "Moonlight," a tale of risky teenage love, is at 60 percent; "Trust the Man," a rom-com starring David Duchovny and Julianne Moore, is at 39 percent; and "10th & Wolf," a story of mob family ties starring James Marsden and Giovanni Ribisi, is at zero percent.

Finally, props to XeternityX, who came closest to predicting "Pulse"'s 12 percent Tomatometer. Nobody got particularly close to "Zoom," still flying high at zero percent. Be forwarned when guessing the Tomatometers for this week's unscreened releases: the average T-meter for movies not screened for critics is 11.75 percent.

Recent Samuel L. Jackson Movies:
-------------------------------------------
25% -- Freedomland (2005)
13% -- The Man (2005)
82% -- Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)
18% -- XXX: State of the Union (2005)
23% -- In My Country (2005)

Recent Hilary Duff Movies:
----------------------------------
7% -- Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005)
6% -- The Perfect Man (2005)
15% -- Raise Your Voice (2004)
11% -- A Cinderella Story (2004)
24% -- Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)

Related Items
Movie: Freedomland
Dude, Where's My Car?
In My Country
Snakes on a Plane
The Illusionist
Rock 'N' Roll High School
Cheaper by the Dozen
Moonlight
Cheaper By the Dozen 2
The Perfect Man
Trust the Man
Body of Evidence
Raise Your Voice
10th & Wolf
Factotum
Material Girls
XXX: State of the Union
Little Miss Sunshine
National Lampoon's Animal House
A Cinderella Story
The Man
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Celeb: David Duchovny
James Marsden
Justin Long
Greg Kinnear
Matt Dillon
Julianne Moore
Samuel L. Jackson
Valerie Faris
Madonna
Jessica Biel
Edward Norton
Jonathan Dayton
Steve Carell
Paul Giamatti
Giovanni Ribisi
Hilary Duff
Lili Taylor
Charles Bukowski
Haylie Duff
Bookmark and Share
Comments (1-15 of 15 posts) | Reply
203407
RoadDogXVIII writes:
on Aug 17 2006 04:56 PM

Yeah, that Hillary Duff movie's gonna bomb. Not only hasn't it been screened for critics, but it's opening with a bunch of larger (and more promoted) movies. Stop shoving Duff movies down our throat, because they're not gonna go down easy. "The Perfect Man" anyone? I'm gonna see "Snakes on a Plane," though. Just as long as it ain't stupid and full of pointless crap.

(Reply to this)
Master King Sexington writes:
on Aug 17 2006 06:23 PM

In reply to this comment (#842515)
'Just because it ain't stupid and full of pointless crap" Am I the only one that sees what's so very wrong with that statement? This is snakes on a plane you're talking about right? Wow, that's the only reason to see it. Or I could be wrong. It could be the next Crash and run the acadamy awards couldn't it

(Reply to this)
304264
dagreenman18 writes:
on Aug 17 2006 06:27 PM

[b]Dude wheres my snakes on a Plane?[/b]
look Snakes on a Plane is like sex or pizza, if it's bad, it's still preaty good. i will see it, if it's bad, it's a comedy, if it's good, it will be a phenomenon of sheer awesomeness, heres hoping it's the 2nd one.


(Reply to this)
220804
PrecentorEpsilonXVI writes:
on Aug 17 2006 06:35 PM

In reply to this comment (#842517)
I'm personally hoping for the first. If it's the second, I'll actually be disappointed...

(Reply to this)
28238
nogard64 writes:
on Aug 17 2006 06:37 PM

Yes I will pay my hard earn dollars jsut to hear Sam L Jackson say "there is MUTHA EFFING SNAKES ON THE PLANE!!!!"


HAHA


(Reply to this)
Darth_Durden1024 writes:
on Aug 17 2006 07:04 PM

OK, so I'm thinking Material Girls tops out at 8 percent, whereas SOAP will be a relative sleeper hit, making its way to 19 percent. I'm hopefuly going to see SOAP relatively soon, so I'll find out which way it goes.

==TJ==


(Reply to this)
SIRxxxTMG writes:
on Aug 17 2006 07:28 PM

SOAP not being screened for critics? Hah! this movie is gonna blow.

(Reply to this)
XeternityX writes:
on Aug 17 2006 09:38 PM

SOAP wasn't shown for critics because it's had a ton of pre-release screenings that they've had exclusive for sweepstakes winners and a ton of stuff on the SOAP website. A few online sites have already put reviews up from them, and one of my good friends at YTMND got to go.

(Reply to this)
327113
Francis P. Fannybottom writes:
on Aug 17 2006 10:47 PM

SOAP was pretty bad. Not even good in a "so bad its good" kind of way.

I'll probably be the only to say so. Oh well.


(Reply to this)
339883
pirate of skulls writes:
on Aug 18 2006 03:13 AM

snakes on a plane was fucking awesome.

seriously, it was the greatest thing ive seen in a long, LONG time.


(Reply to this)
200807
Banana Kid writes:
on Aug 18 2006 06:50 AM

I guess 72%-73% for Snakes, and 21% for Material Girls.

(Reply to this)
336044
Mikeal420 writes:
on Aug 18 2006 07:04 AM

[b]Who would have guessed[/b]
Who would have thought a movie called "Snakes on a Plane" would turn out bad. I for one thought it could be a masterpiece. I'm surpried about the illusionist though, I thought with "The Prestige" coming out this would be a year for movies on magic (Harry Potty too). Nobady even seemed to know "THe Illsionist" was coming out.


(Reply to this)
75481
dudemovies writes:
on Aug 18 2006 07:13 AM

In reply to this comment (#842526)
I'm gonna guess 45% for Sankes and 2% for Material Girls

(Reply to this)
288689
curtis writes:
on Aug 18 2006 08:21 AM

Critics are loving Snakes on a plane. It is 83% fresh. 20 good reviews and 4 bad ones. the user rating is also good. it is at 97% with 35 votes. Last night night before 10 pm it only had 2 votes. It seems that snakes on a plane is that summer movie we have been looking for. it is about time.

(Reply to this)
336044
Mikeal420 writes:
on Aug 18 2006 01:21 PM

[b]10th and WOLF????[/b]
Never heard of it, guess the 0% explains why


(Reply to this)
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