It was probably easier to make a movie like The Game Plan in the early 1990s than it is today. Back then, action cinema ran solely on brawn. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris: they molded themselves into one man armies on the big screen, and seeing them break their image in broad comedies like 1990's Kindergarten Cop (50 percent on the Tomatometer) was something too outlandish for a studio exec not to green light. But the age of the NES has passed and now we want our heroes complex and infallible. We want Jason Bourne, we want a moody James Bond. In other words, we want actors who aren't known for their action movies.
Yet, Hollywood's a big place. Room is being cleared for the jocks to take over again: 300 (60 percent) was one of the biggest movies of the year, wrestlers are striking up movie contracts, and even Ice Cube, once self-proclaimed to be America's most wanted man, is doing poop jokes with prepubescents. It goes to show you're never a reputable action star until you have the clout to risk it all away on a kids movie.
Kindergarten
Cop: the undisputed king of the meathead-out-of-his-element
pictures. Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as John Kimble, a reckless detective who
takes an undercover job as a kindergarten teacher. An at-large drug trafficker's son is in
his class and Schwarzenegger must root him out as only a 6'2'' Austrian loose
cannon can. Admittedly, Kindergarten Cop is tonally inconsistent; the
violence, comedy, and mushy love subplot never gel convincingly, a surprise
considering this comes from
Ivan Reitman,
the great genre-masher behind
Ghostbusters (93
percent). Regardless, film culture has already immortalized Kindergarten Cop,
mostly for Schwarzenegger's impeccably blunt line delivery ("Who is your
daddy and what does he do?"; "It is not a toomur!", etc).
Of the action stars that emerged in the 1980s, Schwarzenegger was the first to display a sense of a humor. After his first two concerted efforts to poke holes in his tough guy image -- 1988's Twins (30 percent) and Kindergarten Cop -- resulted in $100 million blockbusters, the way was paved for similar fare like Sylvester Stallone's Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (6 percent) and Chuck Norris's Top Dog (0 percent). Schwarzenegger clearly showed early leadership aptitude in choosing Kindergarten Cop, qualifying him to be current mastermind of the sixth largest economy on Earth.
Once Schwarzenegger established himself as a cinematic force -- part of an awesome
decade-long run starting with
The Terminator
(100 percent) and ending with
True Lies (68
percent) -- few looked capable in matching his influence and popularity. Enter
Terry "Hulk" Hogan. Hogan wisely tried establishing himself as
counterprogramming to R-rated action heroes, a family-friendly entity accessible
to mass consumers who knew of him from from TV. Hogan starred in 1993's
Mr. Nanny (7
percent) as Sean Armstrong, a former pro wrestler hired to bodyguard an inventor
and become ad hoc sitter to his bratty kids with penchants for sub-Home
Alone booby traps. Even for a movie starring Hulk Hogan, there's a
surprising amount of slapstick violence: it's guaranteed that very few
minutes will pass before somebody trips on something or a guy takes a fist to
the face. Even
Sherman
Hemsley, as Hogan's along-for-the-ride former trainer, gets flipped over a
couch during a fight.
As if to challenge Schwarzenegger's supremacy directly, in Mr. Nanny Hogan frequently matches brawn with Wolfgang, a brute obviously modeled in speech and manner after Schwarzenegger. Wolfgang, in fact, is played by Peter Kent, Schwarzenegger's longtime stunt double, and Kent even prophetically calls Hogan a "girlie man," a term Schwarzenegger got rather familiar with in 2004.
As the economic viability of the action stars eroded, a
new, different icon needed to take over. For a while it looked like
Vin Diesel was
willing to bear the brunt. After making
The Fast
and the Furious and
xXx, Diesel loosens his image for 2005's
The Pacifier (21
percent), starring as a no-nonsense Navy S.E.A.L. taking care of a recently
assassinated scientist's kids. Diaper jokes and drill exercises ensues.
The Pacifier was directed by Adam Shankman who, in a recent RT interview, was quick to admit that it was something he used to "loathe hearing" about. As Shankman puts it: "I took jobs like a dancer takes jobs; if something's offered to you, you take it. And I felt just privileged that somebody wanted me to work, and wanted whatever it was that I did, even if it was just to get it done, and get it done cleanly."
This past summer, Shankman scored a Certified Fresh box office hit with a remake of John Waters' camp classic, Hairspray (93 percent). Shankman's career parallels somewhat with Game Plan director Andy Fickman's: both have given Amanda Bynes's career a boost (She's the Man), both have soft spots for musicals, and both are well-taught of the ins and outs of making unassuming, crowd-pleasing Hollywood entertainment. So, ought we be expecting a summer remake of Pink Flamingos from Andy Fickman soon? He might not be far off; he's already listed as attached to a remake of Fame.
With straight-up action stars slowly eking their way back, can we expect this comedy subgenre to also make a resurgence in the new Hollywood? I'm expecting "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and Dakota Fanning to pool their acting talents soon for The Condemned 2: The Reckoning.
Related Items
| Movie: | Kindergarten Cop |
| Mr. Nanny | |
| The Pacifier | |
| Celeb: | Sherman Hemsley |
| Arnold Schwarzenegger | |
| Hulk Hogan | |
| Adam Shankman | |
| Vin Diesel | |
| Andy Fickman |
|
on Sep 27 2007 08:27 AM I can't believe you forgot to mention 3 Ninjas:High Noon at Mega Mountain its a classic (Reply to this) |
![]() on Sep 27 2007 12:04 PM In reply to this comment (#1152217) We'll have to devote an entirely separate article to the classic 3 Ninjas films. Rocky was so dreamy back in fifth grade...sigh. Jon Turtletaub's best work, by far. (Reply to this) |
|
on Sep 27 2007 02:18 PM I just want to say that the headline of this article is absolutely hilarious. Not really interested in reading the article though. (Reply to this) |
![]() on Nov 12 2007 07:13 AM What do all these movies all have in common? Oh yeah, they all suck ballz. (Reply to this) |
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