ROTTEN TOMATOES: RT Celebrity Showdown: Jessica, Jessica, and Jessica

RT Celebrity Showdown: Jessica, Jessica, and Jessica

We take a look at the stats on Alba, Biel, and Simpson.

by Matt Atchity | April 30, 2008

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In a late night, booze-fueled discussion, the RT staff started discussing our favorite starlets, and someone mentioned Jessica Biel as a favorite. But then someone else said that they liked Jessica Alba more. And then another person brought up Jessica Simpson. Which led us all to ask the admittedly ridiculous question: which Jessica is best? And so we've put together an equally ridiculous, pseudo-scientific study...

See who wins!

Jessica Alba

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Biel

15%

Highest Film:
77%
Sin City

Lowest Film:
3%
Good Luck Chuck

Total Box Office:
$495.6M

Number of Films:
13

Best Comic Book Movie:
35%
The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Romantically linked to:
Cash Warren

Starred in the TV show:
Dark Angel

AskMen's Top 99 rank:
#5

Highest Film:
21%
Employee of the Month

Lowest Film:
2%
The Master of Disguise

Total Box Office:
$108.6M

Number of Films:
4

Best Comic Book Movie:
(none)


Romantically linked to:
Nick Lachey

Starred in the TV show:
Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica

AskMen's Top 99 rank:
#47

Highest Film:
94%
Ulee's Gold

Lowest Film:
7%
Summer Catch

Total Box Office:
$449.8M

Number of Films:
14

Best Comic Book Movie:
26%
Blade: Trinity

Romantically linked to:
Justin Timberlake

Starred in the TV show:
7th Heaven

AskMen's Top 99 rank:
#7

Next Page >>

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(1-20 of 31 posts) | Reply

coyotesqrl writes:
on Apr 30 2008 10:46 PM

Jessica Tandy kicks all their asses.

Beyond that, Jessica Alba's best Comic Book Movie was Sin City.

(Reply to this)

RT-Matchity writes:
on Apr 30 2008 11:32 PM

In reply to this comment (#1712415)
Nice catch, Coyotesqrl.

That was supposed to be "Best Marvel Comics Movie" but it didn't get put in right. It should be fixed momentarily.

(Reply to this)

OniSpyder writes:
on May 01 2008 01:02 AM

whew, that's a relief. i was scared alba or simpson would win, and i'd lose my faith in humanity. :)

(Reply to this)

~*Admiral Snowstorm*~ writes:
on May 01 2008 02:47 AM

Glad Biel won. She's the only one of the three with a modicum of talent, though Alba didn't do too badly for herself in Sin City.

(Reply to this)

minderbinder writes:
on May 01 2008 07:34 AM

Yeah, while Biel has had some clunkers, she's the only one with even a hint of actual acting talent.

I suspect she'll keep moving on to bigger and better things while the other two stick to garbage that relies on T&A.

(Reply to this)

chucktfuu writes:
on May 01 2008 07:42 AM

Man i seen stuff magazine do something on these three hotties in 05. Remember that was the summer of original FF4, Stealth, and Dukes. So late, so lame.

(Reply to this)

Astr0creep writes:
on May 01 2008 09:23 AM

Alba should stick to TV.
Like something on HBO...

Simpson should go back to her cave or do some porn.

Biel is awesome. She can do everything and although her projects haven't been so stellar, anyone can see her potential and I find it nice to watch her career evolve.

She might want to think about firing her agent though...

(Reply to this)

unbreakable_samurai writes:
on May 01 2008 10:01 AM

Yeah Biel is easily the winner, she's the hottest and the only one that can act. I just wish she would get away from fn Timberlake.

(Reply to this)

John Z. Delorean writes:
on May 01 2008 10:54 AM

In reply to this comment (#1712674)
I wish Alba would rely on T&A she seems almost prudish compared to the other two. P-p-p-please Jessica Rabbit would smash them all.

(Reply to this)

Crenshaw writes:
on May 01 2008 11:29 AM

"Jessica Tandy kicks all their asses."

ROTFLOL!!!

(Reply to this)

tomwaitsjr writes:
on May 01 2008 11:39 AM

Jessica Fletcher is the best character. . .

I'd love to go hot tubbin' with her.

(Reply to this)

mattdaddy36 writes:
on May 01 2008 01:29 PM

Biel is the only one I can stand. She actually has some range and will go places if she chooses good projects. I thought Blade Trinity was way better than the either Fantastic 4 movie. That is an unfair challenge though because I left a better movie in the bathroom this morning than either Fantastic movie.

(Reply to this)

mchris65 writes:
on May 01 2008 02:00 PM

Jessica Tandy!!

(Reply to this)

BarbarianMonster writes:
on May 02 2008 07:25 AM

Simpson has bigger thingies. Mmmm. But I bet Biel is naughty. Mmmmmm.

(Reply to this)

crystalwhiteeyes writes:
on May 02 2008 01:02 PM

Get your facts right...

Simpson is linked with Tony Romo, not Lachey or LaDouche as I like to call him. :)

(Reply to this)

air-x-images writes:
on May 02 2008 09:37 PM

wtf? is the person or persons who made this up gay or wut? a category of best celebrity beau was actually used to determine the outcome? puh-lease!! altho biel is super hot and gots skills in acting jessica alba is the best!!! she scored higher in all the major cats..and for the Highest Film: it shoulda said highest film that star'd in!! I think u all should re-do this and let everyone vote.. but include real cats.. like best bod, prettiest face, best dressed, sexiest, best skin scene, best looking without make up.... i can go on.. and if you want me to, hit me up.. my vote would be jessica alba .. cuz shes the closet to perfection ive ever seen!!

(Reply to this)

han_petrucci writes:
on May 02 2008 11:08 PM

All of them are *******. Jessica's Alba acting in Good Luck Chuck really suck.
She cannot act i think. Jessica Simpson even worse.

(Reply to this)

vintagere writes:
on May 03 2008 07:56 AM

Jessica Alba gets my vote. Then Biel.
Eye candy is still eye candy.....great acting? Right.
Kathryn Hepburn has 4 academy awards.....I'd still vote for Alba.

(Reply to this)

gm1200 writes:
on May 03 2008 10:53 PM

Alba is easily the hottest...with Simpson a far second and Biel not even in the running at third. Acting...Alba again...you guys who think she can't act aren't too bright. Shes at least as good an actress as Biel (no argument on Simpson though...ditz to the umpteenth degree). Alba's big problem is picking crappy roles. She was outstanding in Dark Angel (and TV really DOES require more talent to pull off successfully than feature films...regardless of what Hollywood thinks...you have to really own a character long term to keep the audience interested...anyone can do that with half @ss material for two hours)...she pulled of Sue Storm when I doubted she could...Sin City..obviously good...although I have to say she didn't really have much to do acting wise.
Biel is an ok actress...but nothing great.

Gotta agree about the bogussness of some of these categories...best celebrity boyfriend? WTF? Even if you want to count this...Biel should lose for dating a guy who obviously isn't even into girls...talk about a media couple if I've ever seen one. Alba at least is with a guy cause he means something to her.

Also...gotta agree only starring films should count...and how can we even count any scoring system which gives the FF movies a low score...not the best Marvel flicks...but certainly not bad either...come to think of it...why am I even on this site? Its INSANE!

(Reply to this)

CoUcH ToMaToE DoUgIe writes:
on May 04 2008 10:42 PM

In reply to this comment (#1717731)
"...and how can we even count any scoring system which gives the FF movies a low score...not the best Marvel flicks...but certainly not bad either...come to think of it...why am I even on this site? Its INSANE!"

Yes, you are gm1200, yes you are.

(Reply to this)

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